I want to fix this marriage you remember 23 years help me
How can I stop this divorce and my husband wants I don't want it I want to fix the
Well we had an affair while we were both married to other mates she divorced and my wife passed away she pushed away from me to spend time with her girlfriend we got back together after a brief period of time but she went through my stuff and left again and has never forgot or trusted me anymore this has been going on for 4 years finally moved out and blamed me for breaking her spirit we have spoken but no signs of getting her back but I need to work on me
Need help on my marriage. I recently moved out and my husband told me that it was over. He keep telling me different things like it’s over, he’s over me, he’s moving on to newer things and there’s nothing to work on. Then he’ll mix it up with we can be friends, we can be friends and see we’re it takes up, he’s not making any promises, he’s tired, he’s done, he still loves me, he still in love with me but he’s tired of dealing with me. I’m so lost and hurting so bad! I didn’t realize I were still in love with him until I left. Sometimes it feels like he’s enjoying me hurting and at disarray. He keeps telling me that’s how he felt when I left. He still shows that he cares but it feels manipulative in a way because he’ll come back with that’s what he went through alone!
Hi Annissa,
I can hear the pain in your comment and my heart truly goes out to you and your husband at this very difficult time. big hug! Its true, Emotional pain Sucks, however it is also a great teacher in helping us understand ourselves, our situation and our partners better. The reality is, we figure life and love out as we go, not before we get started, or get busy steering it in the direction we desire to go. It makes sense you would realize you are still in love with your husband after you moved out. I assure you, it was unlikely for you to realize this by maintaining the status quo of your relationship. I also encourage you to not take your husband's comments personally when he says..."now you understand what I was going through." There is relief for us as humans when we believe the way I was hurting can now be understood by another. Also, we all have our own progression through the pain and disappointments of love. Take it as validation that you are both hurting right now. There are many more things I desire to teach and share with you, however, it would take more than a simple reply to your comment. However, please let me close by saying there is hope here. I would suggest you explore if your husband would be willing to step into the experience of being friends. Friends who love and care about each other would be a really great place to come from when rebuilding your relationship once again. I encourage you to begin by setting aside the problems for a moment, and focus on getting together for an enjoyable activity, (hang out) and have a safe place and space to come home to. I also encourage you to get some help and support as you navigate this very difficult time. Schedule a call, and together let's truly explore your next best steps.
Need help with a recent break up. Need to communicate to the ex to convince him that we can be happy again
I encourage you to do three things. 1. stop trying to convince him. For most of us humans, how this plays out is we are begging, pleading, and over pleasing in an effort to get them to come back. This wont work well. very often, it pushes them further away. 2. confidently share with him how much you care! you care about him, your relationship, and have a deep desire to see it work out. 3. Sincerely take responsibility for what you recognize as your part in what is not working in your relationship, and what you would be honestly willing to work on if he were to choose in to giving it another try. If you need help with any of this, reach out to me.
Need help to stop a cycle of belittlement and lack of mutual respect
Please refer to my reply your comment on bullying. Mutual respect takes place when both parties can personal refrain from taking their upsets out on each other, by developing and practicing better skills of working through conflict. I call this "Emotional Weightlifting," as the ability to do emotional push ups will be necessary. If you need more information on this, please schedule a Free Clarity Call and we can discuss it further.
Need help to stop a cycle of bullying
What drives a persons need to bully is actually feelings of personal inadequacy and shame that is then taken out on others in an effort to alleviate the pain, and feel just a bit better. However, as you may guess...the more I take my emotions out on others, the worse I feel about myself. So this becomes a self perpetuating cycle of abuse. To stop it, if you're "the person" doing the bullying, better outlets for alleviating YOUR pain, and effort to understand and work with your emotions will be required. If you're the person "being bullied"...you to struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame, but just handle them differently. You shut down instead of get aggressive in an effort to feel a little bit better. Make it up its all your fault in your attempt to avoid conflict. You must learn to value yourself, and be willing to advocate for yourself as you take appropriate actions to keep yourself safe. Be mind full however, that in doing so, you don't become the bully.
I want to fix this marriage you remember 23 years help me
How can I stop this divorce and my husband wants I don't want it I want to fix the
Well we had an affair while we were both married to other mates she divorced and my wife passed away she pushed away from me to spend time with her girlfriend we got back together after a brief period of time but she went through my stuff and left again and has never forgot or trusted me anymore this has been going on for 4 years finally moved out and blamed me for breaking her spirit we have spoken but no signs of getting her back but I need to work on me
Need help on my marriage. I recently moved out and my husband told me that it was over. He keep telling me different things like it’s over, he’s over me, he’s moving on to newer things and there’s nothing to work on. Then he’ll mix it up with we can be friends, we can be friends and see we’re it takes up, he’s not making any promises, he’s tired, he’s done, he still loves me, he still in love with me but he’s tired of dealing with me. I’m so lost and hurting so bad! I didn’t realize I were still in love with him until I left. Sometimes it feels like he’s enjoying me hurting and at disarray. He keeps telling me that’s how he felt when I left. He still shows that he cares but it feels manipulative in a way because he’ll come back with that’s what he went through alone!
Hi Annissa, I can hear the pain in your comment and my heart truly goes out to you and your husband at this very difficult time. big hug! Its true, Emotional pain Sucks, however it is also a great teacher in helping us understand ourselves, our situation and our partners better. The reality is, we figure life and love out as we go, not before we get started, or get busy steering it in the direction we desire to go. It makes sense you would realize you are still in love with your husband after you moved out. I assure you, it was unlikely for you to realize this by maintaining the status quo of your relationship. I also encourage you to not take your husband's comments personally when he says..."now you understand what I was going through." There is relief for us as humans when we believe the way I was hurting can now be understood by another. Also, we all have our own progression through the pain and disappointments of love. Take it as validation that you are both hurting right now. There are many more things I desire to teach and share with you, however, it would take more than a simple reply to your comment. However, please let me close by saying there is hope here. I would suggest you explore if your husband would be willing to step into the experience of being friends. Friends who love and care about each other would be a really great place to come from when rebuilding your relationship once again. I encourage you to begin by setting aside the problems for a moment, and focus on getting together for an enjoyable activity, (hang out) and have a safe place and space to come home to. I also encourage you to get some help and support as you navigate this very difficult time. Schedule a call, and together let's truly explore your next best steps.
Need help with a recent break up. Need to communicate to the ex to convince him that we can be happy again
I encourage you to do three things. 1. stop trying to convince him. For most of us humans, how this plays out is we are begging, pleading, and over pleasing in an effort to get them to come back. This wont work well. very often, it pushes them further away. 2. confidently share with him how much you care! you care about him, your relationship, and have a deep desire to see it work out. 3. Sincerely take responsibility for what you recognize as your part in what is not working in your relationship, and what you would be honestly willing to work on if he were to choose in to giving it another try. If you need help with any of this, reach out to me.
Need help to stop a cycle of belittlement and lack of mutual respect
Please refer to my reply your comment on bullying. Mutual respect takes place when both parties can personal refrain from taking their upsets out on each other, by developing and practicing better skills of working through conflict. I call this "Emotional Weightlifting," as the ability to do emotional push ups will be necessary. If you need more information on this, please schedule a Free Clarity Call and we can discuss it further.
Need help to stop a cycle of bullying
What drives a persons need to bully is actually feelings of personal inadequacy and shame that is then taken out on others in an effort to alleviate the pain, and feel just a bit better. However, as you may guess...the more I take my emotions out on others, the worse I feel about myself. So this becomes a self perpetuating cycle of abuse. To stop it, if you're "the person" doing the bullying, better outlets for alleviating YOUR pain, and effort to understand and work with your emotions will be required. If you're the person "being bullied"...you to struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame, but just handle them differently. You shut down instead of get aggressive in an effort to feel a little bit better. Make it up its all your fault in your attempt to avoid conflict. You must learn to value yourself, and be willing to advocate for yourself as you take appropriate actions to keep yourself safe. Be mind full however, that in doing so, you don't become the bully.