When it comes to love and relationships, they are just a part of who I am.
The significance, dreams, and reality of relationships are something I became aware of at a very early age in my life.
At the age of 6, my father passed away of Hodgkin's disease. For months prior to his death, I somehow sensed that he was very sick, and I wanted to be by his side constantly.
For me, grief was kept at bay as long as my father’s body was around. But, the moment the lid of his casket closed at his funeral and I became separated from his physical presence, I was overwhelmed with a sense of loss and confusion. But I also realized in that moment that relationships with loved ones were highly valuable and very precious.
This set me on a lifetime desire and pursuit of wanting to be a good lover of humans, and to honor and cherish the relationships in my own personal life.
I had grandiose dreams like many young girls do of finding my prince charming and having him sweep me off my feet.
I did have a moment at the age of 14 years old while sitting on the porch of my family home waiting for my sister’s wedding to begin. I watched a handsome young man, who looked liked a prince to me, step out of a car. Time stood still, and I remember thinking to myself: "I want a man like that someday!"
Surprisingly the realities of love and relationships showed up for me 3 years later, when at the age of 17, I found myself pregnant by my high school boyfriend.
This was the beginning of my earnest searching, learning, and growing around love and relationships.
Nothing like working your way from the bottom up...right?!
This first dance with relationships shockingly ended 18 months later.
I continued my pursuit of love and remarried again 2 years later at the ripe age of 20. I was going to do it right this time!
I found myself divorced a second time at the age of 32 with five amazing children in tow. Five kids you ask? Yes, realize, I am from Utah.
It was then my commitment and desire to understand how to create extraordinary relationships with others as well as myself took on a whole new level of commitment.
I studied hypnotherapy, psychology, NLP, Gestalt therapy, and enrolled in several personal development programs and seminars over the next 15 years. All the while I blew up several more relationships.
I now say it was market research and personal practice...lol!
I also became an independent do-it-yourself woman who did not need a man during this time.
I owned businesses, was a single parent to my children, and it felt good to call all the shots! Honestly, I was commitment phobic. Professing that I would never marry again in my life...and I meant it!
And then in November of 2010, I received a phone call from my brother-in-law that would connect me to that handsome prince I saw step out of that car 37 years earlier.
Because of the impact of my 14-year-old experience of desiring love all those years ago, I found myself feeling high levels of internal conflict. My staunch independence begin to clash with my deep desire to fall in love with my handsome prince...a prince named Tom.
Our connection began 600 miles apart, and took off at warp speed, as I found myself wrestling with my education and knowing that when relationships are not growing they are dying. I sensed that to continue a thriving relationship with Tom, the topic of commitment and marriage was right around the corner.
Should I stay or should I go? I wanted to stay in my relationship with love and Tom, but I didn’t want marriage. What do I do now?!
Just as I feared, the commitment conversation finally came about!
And in the throws of my emotional turmoil, desperate and scared…I blurted out: "How about a Lease Option Contract for love…that is all I can give."
We laughed for a few moments, and it was actually Tom who said, "Staci that is a great idea. Let's create one. Let's create a Lease Option Contract for Love."
I decided that 30 days was long enough to give it a go. I took all I knew, and what I intuitively felt I needed to make this work, and invented a framework and a contract to support and guide us.
It worked so well, that 30 days later after our evaluation, I was ready to take on 90 days. At the 90 day evaluations, my commitment fears had been turned into confidence. I was no longer afraid. I was ready for 5 years! I was ready to brave the realities of commitment. I realized that it was not relationships that I was afraid of, but my own ability to navigate them that terrified me.
I have also become a divorce mediator and have used use the Lease Option Contract frameworks with couples, who like me years ago, are wondering if they should stay or they should go.
I now devote my life to helping people throw out the old school binding relationship expectations that kill love, and mentor people to develop a relationship that feels new, that turns them on again, and one that allows their best life to come forth. We don't fail at relationships, we fail to learn the skills necessary for creating extraordinary relationships
This is for the brave, the daring, the ones that are willing to throw out their old rules and create a relationship in an entirely new way.
Bottom line is this: we all have the capacity to create and experience Love in our lives. Please don’t give into your fears, for when you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.
To thrive in our lives as families, communities and business owners,
we need each other, we need connection, we need love! Its valuable and precious!
May I suggest it is time to tell a different story about love and relationships? A story that makes it possible for us to love again.
"I love you" is still the most powerful force in the universe.
Pierre de Chardin said it best….
“Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
Hell Yeah! Let’s create some love!