Episode 70: Feeding Your Passion: The Ultimate Guide to Aphrodisiac Foods for Your Valentine's Day Dinner

[00:00:00] Announcer: Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the love shack.

 

[00:00:14] Staci Bartley: Hey, welcome to the love shack. It's a little a place where we get to get together. Explore fresh perspectives, eavesdrop on juicy conversations and uncover the mysteries that nobody talks about, but absolutely influences our relationships. If you are struggling with your special someone and or desire to create love that lasts the long haul, this show is dedicated to you. Today is episode number 70, and we are going to share feeding your passion. We're going to share with you an ultimate guide to the aphrodisiac foods for your Valentine's day dinner. So if by chance you find yourself looking for that perfect menu to set the mood for Valentine's day, look no further, we're going to share with you some of the best aphrodisiac foods that will have your partner wanting more. 

 

[00:01:02] Staci Bartley: I'm Staci Bartley and I'm an integrative couples therapist and divorce mediator. And I'm here with my partner and co-host Tom. We also have Amy Riley, an expert in aphrodisiac foods. And she's going to talk about some of the best foods that are sure to get you in the mood this Valentine's day.

 

[00:01:18] Staci Bartley: As you can probably hear, this is our Valentine's day episode special. Whether you're looking to cook up a romantic dinner at home, or you want to impress your partner with something special. I want you to know we've got you covered in this episode. So sit back, relax and let us show you what's on the menu today.

 

[00:01:37] Tom Bartley: And I, you know, myself included, I think I thought most people think of aphrodisiacs as being something that exotic or strange, but that's not the case at all. 

 

[00:01:47] Staci Bartley: So true. So we're going to talk about aphrodisiacs and how they work, what the best ones to choose are can they really improve in women's women's sexual health?

 

[00:01:56] Staci Bartley: So stay with us as we're answering these questions and more, as well as hopefully inspire you to create an unforgettable Valentine's day. It's time to tantalize your taste buds and give your relationship a boost with this ultimate aphrodisiac guide: foods for your Valentine's day celebration. You got this going right for us.

 

[00:02:18] Staci Bartley: Yeah. Okay. 

 

[00:02:19] Tom Bartley: Prepare to be amazed.

 

[00:02:21] Staci Bartley: Go grab your favorite beverage and we'll be right back.

 

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[00:04:33] Tom Bartley: We are your hosts, Tom and Staci Bartley, along with our engineer writer. Great to have you with us. Excuse me. Tangled on my tongue right there. This is an episode, cause I'm so dang excited, episode 70. This is a Valentine's. If you're listening live or whenever you catch it, you can always, you know, step back into Valentine's day, whenever you want.

 

[00:04:49] Tom Bartley: And if you know of anyone that's looking to spice up their Valentine's day in a very unique way, we would respectfully ask you to share this episode with them. We're really, really excited. We're going to jump right into what we call the heart of the matter today we have Amy Reiley. Is sharing her wealth of knowledge on aphrodisiacs.

 

[00:05:06] Tom Bartley: I love that word aphrodisiacs and how they can spice up your Valentine's day celebration. 

 

[00:05:12] Staci Bartley: Whether you're looking to spice up your relationship or just want an excuse to cook a romantic Valentine dinner. This episode is sure to give you all the information that you need. So before we go much further in this conversation, we need to bring on the aphrodisiac specialist, Amy Reiley is an authority on aphrodisiac foods and a freelance wine writer and wine competition judge, boy, what I love to be in your shoes. She's also a speaker, cookbook, author, and consultant. She's earned her master's of arts in gastronomic, gastronomy from France's culinary, temple Le Cordon Bleu. While at Le Cordon Bleu, Reiley rose to prominence in her work and culinary aphrodisiacs and released her first book that we're going to give away today on the show during our follow the fun moment.

 

[00:06:02] Staci Bartley: And I love the name Fork Me, Spoon Me: the sensual cookbook. So like, if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about where we're going, that's exactly where we're going. Amy. Thank you so much for taking the time.. Welcome to the show. It's great to have you here. 

 

[00:06:20] Amy Reiley: Thank you. I'm so excited. Your people are definitely my people.

 

[00:06:24] Staci Bartley: Oh, oh yes. 

 

[00:06:25] Staci Bartley: I know. And I knew that from the moment that you and I crossed paths and met and fell in love immediately with your work, especially after meeting your beautiful smiling face. And if we may, I would love to open up the show with an excerpt that you have at the very beginning of your book and your introduction.

 

[00:06:41] Staci Bartley: And I'll remember, I remember the moment I read it a few weeks ago and I thought, oh my gosh, this is going to be a great opener for this. Oh, and, and here's what she writes briefly. 

 

[00:06:51] Staci Bartley: A man I dated two or three times offered to cook for me because I'm involved in the food business. Most men never work up the nerve to make me a meal. I was impressed by the boldness of this invitation. And yes, I was pretty doubtful about his cooking skills, but the worry was overshadowed by my interest in what was clearly an open invitation to seduction. Any man who invites you over to dinner on the third date has more than whipping up souffle on his mind. The meal was delicious. The mood was electric. There was a white fish and a mango sauce, chocolate, white wine, red wine, and strong cups of coffee that carried us deep into the night. 

 

[00:07:35] Staci Bartley: That took me away. And that's what we want to help you do today in your very own life. Love Shack listeners. And this is why we've invited Amy to come and be with us in the love shack today so that we can create more moments like that.

 

[00:07:49] Tom Bartley: Let me just assure our engineer, Eric, don't worry. We've got this covered. We know we're radio live. So Eric's got his finger on that button right now. So no worries. No. Tom, otherwise known as radars here too, so we'll keep it all good. 

 

[00:08:02] Staci Bartley: So now that we've got us all panting a little bit I've got to ask the first question because when I was introduced to aphrodisiac foods, I really wanted to know like, do they work? Like, is there really something to the science as well as the stories in regards to aphrodisiac foods. And I'd love to start with you exploring that a bit with us. 

 

[00:08:22] Amy Reiley: Well, best way I can explain it is that if you look historically at the majority of cultures that celebrated foods as an aphrodisiac, they were living in times when people were basically starving, right?

 

[00:08:36] Amy Reiley: Food was never in abundance. Like it is now. And so when you think, you know, when, when food was a scarcity that people were kind of saving these things and using for these special purposes, they clearly had to, you know, see that they worked for them right? Now. It wasn't until, you know, modern times that we can figure out, oh, well, that one has lots of manganese and that's really important for men's sexual health or, oh, this one raises your body temperature and can cause a release of endorphins and kind of makes you feel that sort of, if you're with someone you're attracted to, you might feel a bit of that sexual feeling, that kind of thing.

 

[00:09:14] Amy Reiley: We now can understand scientifically, but you know, clearly, I mean, I knew when I started working on this, there wasn't a lot of scientific studies at the time. I've been studying this topic for over 15 years. And there's an increasing number of, you know, investigations more into how food can support sexual health than anything else, but that's really important.

 

[00:09:36] Amy Reiley: But you know, I knew from the beginning, like these, these people, like this stuff, was so important to them, there had, they had to have felt something. 

 

[00:09:45] Staci Bartley: No, that's a really good point. And I know that you point out in the book that you've actually chosen 12 foods. And the reason that you chose them was because of, it's not only folklore, you know, historically the stories around the foods, but also those that had actually been scientifically researched as well.

 

[00:10:01] Staci Bartley: So I got to ask the question just in getting to know you a little bit more is what led you to study while you were at Le Cordon Bleu? What was the inspiration? Do you have a personal story behind this, besides your boyfriend? 

 

[00:10:12] Amy Reiley: I mean, so that, and the funny thing is that wasn't actually my story. I stole that story because it was so good.

 

[00:10:19] Amy Reiley: Once I started writing about aphrodisiacs, people love to come to me with these wonderful stories and I just filed them all away in my brain and just pull them out whenever they, you know, serve me well. I have my own too, but I I've been, I've been told some really amazing stories like that one. Anyway, I was working as a wine, freelance wine writer and I still, it's still like my favorite thing to write about if I'm being honest, but I wanted to write about more of the food and wine world.

 

[00:10:50] Amy Reiley: And it looks like, okay, well, if I'm going to diversify, I probably need to write about food, but I'm not qualified to be a restaurant critic because I really feel that you need either restaurant experience or at least, you know, a culinary degree, something further than just understanding, like what good food tastes like in a restaurant.

 

[00:11:08] Amy Reiley: So that was out and I really love folklore. And I really love the nutrition and health side of food. And when I discovered aphrodisiacs, I realized I could be writing about folklore and nutrition on the same topic. And it just seemed really cool to me. So it was very challenging at first, most of the work on aphrodisiacs I could find was from an anthropological perspective.

 

[00:11:33] Amy Reiley: It wasn't really looked at as a culinary thing. It wasn't looked at as delicious or how can we use it or how could we have a romantic dinner that kind of didn't exist? So it was fun and challenging and I like a challenge and so here I am. 

 

[00:11:46] Staci Bartley: Oh, that's so great. I, I love the study of what you've brought together here and not only using what, you know, from a culinary standpoint of view but from this, this wonderful way that foods affect our bodies and I just got to ask, knowing that you are a wine lover like myself.

 

[00:12:02] Staci Bartley: Cheers! 

 

[00:12:04] Amy Reiley: I actually chose one purposefully for this evening that kind of, I felt lent itself well to the theme. First of all, pink bubbles, I mean, very Valentine, right. But also it's called the wine is called 15 minutes of fame.

 

[00:12:19] Staci Bartley: That's perfect. 

 

[00:12:21] Cross Talking: Cheers. Cheers. 

 

[00:12:22] Staci Bartley: Well, and I've got to ask you wine is an aphrodisiac, right? I mean, it certainly is for me. 

 

[00:12:27] Amy Reiley: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And in fact, it's funny. I was just writing something about that today. I was updating, I have an article on my website, eatsomethingsexy.com. It's funny. It's hard to say that to you guys without giggling

 

[00:12:39] Staci Bartley: We love it. We'll giggle right along with you. 

 

[00:12:42] Amy Reiley: But on eatsomethingsexy.com. I was just updating, I have an article on there about how to seduce someone with wine. And it's really built on the principles of, of the vintner and physician Dr. Max Lake, from Australia who discovered that the scents of certain wines replicated the scents of human pheromones.

 

[00:13:02] Staci Bartley: That's fantastic.

 

[00:13:03] Amy Reiley: If you want to get really deep into this, you should go read the article. I don't think we have enough time here to really go that far, but I always, when, when someone's like, well, what's the one wine for a romantic occasion. I always say, go with sparkling. Because I mean, if you like sparkling wine and that's a very important point with all aphrodisiacs, it has to be something that both people enjoy.

 

[00:13:27] Amy Reiley: My husband does not enjoy sparkling wine. He enjoys watching me drink it though.

 

[00:13:36] (Laughing) 

 

[00:13:36] Tom Bartley: Tom and I went to Italy and we came home with this love of sparkling wine. That has to be one of our favs.

 

[00:13:43] Amy Reiley: What I was going to say, is the reason I recommend sparkling wine is because it's a drink that's a bit celebratory, like who opens sparkling wine when they're depressed? And you know, just that pop of that cork, it's like, Ooh, something special is about to happen. And then of course, you know, the bubbles they enter, it makes the alcohol enter your bloodstream a little fast.

 

[00:14:08] Amy Reiley: So you feel that a little bit giddy. It also means that you'll tend to drink a little less because you feel it more quickly, which is also a very good thing. When you're talking about romance, I hate the word moderation, but in reality, It becomes very important. You know, if, if your goal is an amorous pursuit, shall we say.

 

[00:14:29] Staci Bartley: To not lose your abilities in between start to finish.

 

[00:14:33] Tom Bartley: To get the full, you know, the experience of the entire evening?

 

[00:14:37] Amy Reiley: Exactly. There's that too. 

 

[00:14:38] Amy Reiley: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

 

[00:14:40] Staci Bartley: Well, I want to dive into your 12 foods and I'm hoping that we have enough time for you to touch on each one and why you selected them. It was fascinating to read about them. Not all of them. I won't hold you to that. 

 

[00:14:50] Amy Reiley: It's so funny. I, so this is my, this is the first book I've actually written four after this.

 

[00:14:56] Amy Reiley: I used to, I remember when I was doing a book tour for this book and I could not remember, I, I, now I have no idea what the 12 ingredients are at the time. I couldn't remember them to the point where I was thinking about tattooing them on my arm.

 

[00:15:12] Staci Bartley: Don't do that. Well, you start out with almonds, which I didn't, I didn't think almonds were an aphrodisiac food. I don't know if our listeners are surprised as I was, but I didn't think almonds would be on the list when I think of like aphrodisiac foods. I think of like oysters, I guess that's cool, you know, maybe the normal go-to it's interesting too.

 

[00:15:34] Staci Bartley: I don't know. Might be interesting to ask us, where do you go, where it comes up for listeners when they think of aphrodisiac foods, right? Like, like what are you, what comes up for you? 

 

[00:15:45] Tom Bartley: Kind of a cosmic blank immediately. And then I don't know if it would have been almonds would have been the first thing that rolled off my tongue.

 

[00:15:52] Tom Bartley: So please share with us Amy, why almonds? 

 

[00:15:53] Amy Reiley: By the way, these 12 ingredients, or I selected them because they are things that you could buy in pretty much any grocery store. I didn't want to put the things that I didn't want to put oysters on there, you know? 

 

[00:16:04] Tom Bartley: Sure. 

 

[00:16:05] Amy Reiley: As you may not or may not be able to get them or know how to shuck them or whatever.

 

[00:16:09] Amy Reiley: But, but almonds, I love almonds. Almond is an aphrodisiac. This is a good one for men. In fact, I have a list on eatsomethingsexy.com. I'm going to giggle every time I say that I have a list of the 10 best foods for men's sexual health. Almonds on the list. Yes. Now all nuts are actually great for men.

 

[00:16:35] Amy Reiley: But seriously, all of them are they're they help support testosterone. It's all about men's sexual health. As far as almonds go. You know, the nutrients in almonds are particularly good for men's sexual health. That being said also good for women. Nuts are a great source of plant-based protein. They also have fiber, and I know you wouldn't think of protein and fiber as like foods to turn you on.

 

[00:17:01] Amy Reiley: And they may not, you know, protein and fiber. Aren't going to turn you on in that moment that the protein is going to help you have a nice sustained performance and the fiber is going to help you. You need enough fiber to look and feel like your sexy self. 

 

[00:17:20] Staci Bartley: Really? The only thing I've ever heard about fiber is that helps you poop.

 

[00:17:25] Staci Bartley: That's immediately, immediately where I go is like. 

 

[00:17:32] Amy Reiley: Gotta keep everything moving.

 

[00:17:35] Amy Reiley: Don't bloat. You eat enough fiber, you're not going to get bloated. 

 

[00:17:39] Staci Bartley: I love it. So it all works out in the end. 

 

[00:17:41] Tom Bartley: All systems have to be working

 

[00:17:41] Amy Reiley: (Laughing) It all works out in the end.

 

[00:17:43] Tom Bartley: Like a Rolls Royce. 

 

[00:17:46] Staci Bartley: Yes. Yes. I love that. And almonds for men's sexual health. So I guess that those are the ingredients that help stimulate the hormones and the rise of testosterone, et cetera. Oh, that's so great.

 

[00:17:59] Tom Bartley: Okay. Food number two. 

 

[00:18:00] Staci Bartley: Number two is chili.

 

[00:18:04] Amy Reiley: That's my favorite. It's actually not my favorite to eat, which is the funny thing, but to talk about as an aphrodisiac, Chili is very exciting. It's one of the few foods that have an immediate effect. It is an absolute food of seduction. If you want to plan a dinner, a romance where you want the other person to kind of get a little turned on chili peppers as long as they don't mind spice.

 

[00:18:28] Amy Reiley: Very important. But chili peppers, make your tongue tingle. They make your lips, lips, plump. Which makes you look a little more kissable, they can also bring a bit of a flush to your cheeks, which I'm told psychologically equates to a sexual flush. If the person, if the person across the table has chemistry with you, it starts to equate to a sex sexual flush in their mind.

 

[00:18:53] Amy Reiley: And you eat enough, you can have it like a rush of endorphin. Your body temperatures rising, you ready to tear off your clothes? It's really the perfect food. 

 

[00:19:03] Staci Bartley: For that seductive moment. So how do we know? Or if like, if I were preparing a meal and I wanted to put just the right type or just the right amount of chili in my little dish to make you tear your clothes off. Like how much would that be? 

 

[00:19:18] Amy Reiley: Well, I mean, to get that sort of endorphin rush, you have to really eat a lot of chilies. Most of us don't want to do that. There are some people who do and for you have fun. But you know that little bit of chili you'll know the, you know, the amount that you actually want to eat. If you like to go light on spice it's a very small amount. If you kind of like a meal with a bit of heat, go for it. 

 

[00:19:41] Staci Bartley: I love it. The next one is one of my personal favorites, which is chocolate. And I read in the book that was one of your moms too, that she kind of inspired you with your love of chocolate.

 

[00:19:50] Tom Bartley: And just so you know, as I had a little time to regather because you sprung that question on me, I can't believe, I didn't think of chocolate because I love chocolate. 

 

[00:19:58] Amy Reiley: Yes. Chocolate is probably the ultimate. Like at least in the United States, it's the ultimate like emblem food, emblem of romance. It is. In fact, we did, my company did a study many years ago. It was a survey and the respondent's like, I think 90% of the respondents said they viewed chocolate as the ultimate romantic gift.

 

[00:20:23] Amy Reiley: They reviewed it as, you know, the food of romance. They were, they viewed it as a food they wanted to receive as a gift, particularly for Valentine's day. Everybody loves to get chocolate. 

 

[00:20:35] Tom Bartley: And does it matter if it's dark versus milk chocolate? 

 

[00:20:37] Amy Reiley: So yes, yes. Is in terms of, not in terms of getting it as a gift or, you know, feeling that, that love feeling from receiving the chocolate no, but in terms of the aphrodisiac effects, it needs to be dark chocolate.

 

[00:20:50] Amy Reiley: I'm sorry, milk chocolate lovers, but it's really all about the cacao. It's about. That, that you're getting those aphrodisiac effects from cacao. Which did you know, it's one of the world's most complex foods. We really don't even understand it. We know that it has caffeine, like effect, which is helpful in terms of romance.

 

[00:21:10] Amy Reiley: You get a little bit of you're, you know, you get a little pick me up. We know that it can also be a little bit of a mood elevator. Apparently there, there have been, I don't know if you've heard rumors fly around about chocolate, that it could actually even be orgasmic. Yeah, it turns out, I mean, it turns out is actually true, but a British scientist who apparently does not like fun.

 

[00:21:36] Amy Reiley: He figured out how much chocolate it would take to have that experience. And he, he estimated that the average size woman would have to eat like 20 pounds of chocolate in one sitting or something crazy. So none of us are ever going to feel that. It could be possible if you could eat that much chocolate, we're never going to get there. 

 

[00:21:57] Staci Bartley: So we just have to take ourselves there in our minds. I mean, there is something in the imagination or in the senses, right? In regards to what you experienced when you think of chocolate. 

 

[00:22:07] Amy Reiley: Yes. Yeah, definitely. You know, what, if it's creamy in it melts in your mouth and you know, it's like, it's sweet, but not too sweet. It's usually has a fairly complex flavor.

 

[00:22:18] Amy Reiley: It's an exciting food just to eat, which I'm sure plays a part. 

 

[00:22:24] Staci Bartley: Well, and you can melt it and you know, you can do all kinds of things with chocolate. Absolutely. And then it has this wonderful constitution that like hardens, you know, so... 

 

[00:22:35] Tom Bartley: if you follow it with a swig of port, it's all over, 

 

[00:22:38] Staci Bartley: I think we know what we're doing for Valentine's day.

 

[00:22:43] Staci Bartley: Alright how about figs. 

 

[00:22:46] Amy Reiley: Figs, figs are wonderful. I always think of women when I think of the fig. And I think, you know, the author DH, Lawrence had a bit of an obsession with figs and women and saying the fig looked like a certain part of the woman. And so now I always think of women and figs, but I mean, I, but I see it as this wonderful sort of Misty Rubenesque kind of, you know, sensual woman. But again, beyond my fantasies about figs. They, also have a number of nutrients that support sexual health, as you might've guessed figs have a lot of fiber, which we've already covered. And so, you know, so a great aphrodisiac food there, they are a sort of plump sensual fruit that doesn't have too much sugar.

 

[00:23:33] Amy Reiley: So you're never going to get like a sugar rush. Cause that's something you want to avoid because then you'll crash right when you're ready to, really turn on the romance. 

 

[00:23:42] Staci Bartley: So yeah, I got it. You get too tired or you get a headache. Ginger. I love ginger and I was so delighted to see it in the book, like, oh my gosh, I love ginger and I love your reference to ginger, but I'm going to let you tell the story.

 

[00:23:57] Amy Reiley: I don't remember my reference to ginger! (Laughs) 

 

[00:24:03] Staci Bartley: The giggly geisha.

 

[00:24:05] Amy Reiley: Yes. So I do, I do love to ginger, and this is a wonderful alternative to chili peppers for anyone who doesn't like a lot of spice, ginger has a lot of the same properties. It will. I don't know if you know this, but there are a lot of lip-plumping glosses and lipsticks out there. They usually have a little ginger in them 

 

[00:24:27] Staci Bartley: Really? And so 

 

[00:24:28] Amy Reiley: It irritates. Like to sort of doing it as an irritant and it will plump up your lips.. So when you eat ginger, you can, you know, it, it can have that effect and your tongue tingles a little and you warm up inside a little bit. I love ginger. 

 

[00:24:44] Staci Bartley: I do too. I love ginger. How about honey? 

 

[00:24:47] Amy Reiley: Oh, honey, honey. Actually, if you like want a food that has some proven effects as an aphrodisiac go for honey.

 

[00:24:56] Amy Reiley: Honey can produce nitric oxide. Wow. Yeah. So the whole blood flow thing and, you know, it's, I mean, it's supposed to be good for men and women. So honey is right up there and it has some other, I mean, it has, you know, obviously trace amounts of minerals, but they're all, they're all very good for you now, honey is one of those things like you don't want a shot of honey.

 

[00:25:18] Amy Reiley: Cause as we already talked about it is a simple sugar. And you'll have that crash, but a bit of honey is, is a very, very good choice for you. 

 

[00:25:27] Staci Bartley: Okay. Mangoes and by the way, I love Sark too. She's one of my favorite authors,

 

[00:25:34] Staci Bartley: eating mangoes naked was something that was kind of a mantra. I think for some of us women back in the early nineties, you know, gosh, darn it. I can be sensuous and sexy and I don't have to feel ashamed about this anymore. 

 

[00:25:47] Amy Reiley: Eat mangoes naked. What really mangoes are like a whole mango is so messy. Is there really any other way to eat it than naked? Kind of a mess at the end. So, you know, once I heard, oh, eat mangoes naked, I was like, oh, mangoes make so much more sense to me because if you eat them naked, you can enjoy every sensual moment of this very juicy, messy fruit. So there, I mean, that's it. Mango is the juicy messy fruit and like, how can you not love that?

 

[00:26:16] Staci Bartley: Yeah. And followed right along by peaches. I have the same experience with peaches as well that you have also listed in the book. The peaches that, you know, they do the same thing for me as mangoes to you. Is that your case? 

 

[00:26:28] Amy Reiley: Oh the, to see messy fruit and want to eat peaches naked too. Yes. And now, you know, the peach emoji is now being is used as sort of a, as a sort of like in a sexual context, so peach is hot.

 

[00:26:44] Staci Bartley: I did not know that listeners, you heard it first here, use that peach emoji if you're trying to flirt with somebody, how about mint? 

 

[00:26:55] Amy Reiley: Oh, mint. So mint is wonderful for so many reasons. It's one of my favorite herbs personally. I mean, I think, I think it's just a versatile herb that kind of not only... It freshens your breath, it kind of just perks you up.

 

[00:27:08] Amy Reiley: So it's irresistible in that way. Again, it does have, although it's trace amounts of nutrients because you're not going to eat like a bowl full of mint, like salad, it does have nutrients to help support sexual health as well. But mostly I like it because it's the, it's the breath freshening herb. It's the kind of invigorating herb as well. 

 

[00:27:28] Staci Bartley: And the sexual health properties. Does that go both ways for men and women or... 

 

[00:27:33] Amy Reiley: Most of them do, although, you know, you can say, well, this one is really better for men because X, Y you know, because men need more what, or whatever, whatever. But the majority of aphrodisiacs you can say, yeah, it could, it could help both sexes.

 

[00:27:46] Staci Bartley: Yes. Well, and if you want to get a kiss, that's probably not a bad way to start. Right.

 

[00:27:54] Staci Bartley: And I felt like there was this place now in the book where you start to lean towards more of the savory types of things, right. It went from the sweets to now we're talking about Rosemary. Just the idea of Rosemary, but tell us about Rosemary. 

 

[00:28:07] Amy Reiley: You know, Rosemary is my other favorite herb, which is why I put it in there.

 

[00:28:11] Amy Reiley: It's, you know, it's so versatile, but it's also, it's good for memory. Which is very important. You know, you gotta remember what the other person likes, right? So, you know, aphrodisiacs don't just affect like sexual performance. There's a whole lot going on there. You need to eat, need to have your brain working well, you need to have enough energy to last long, all of these things.

 

[00:28:34] Amy Reiley: And so Rosemary fits, slides in there into a little area that I kind of neglected. 

 

[00:28:39] Staci Bartley: And saffron comes right behind it. 

 

[00:28:41] Amy Reiley: Well, saffron is the luxury spice. That's really, I mean, you know, it's beautiful. It has this, it gives food, this deep, rich color. It's the most expensive spice. In fact, I think it is the most expensive ingredient.

 

[00:28:56] Amy Reiley: I don't know currently, you know, these things fluctuate, but for a while there, it was the most expensive culinary ingredient. Which fortunately only need to use a tiny amount. So you're not going to go broke making dinner with saffron, but it, you know, it's that it lends that sense of luxury and opulence, that opulent color, that opulent aroma, that it's just, and it's so unique.

 

[00:29:20] Amy Reiley: It's, it's a spice, but it gives like a savory meaty quality to food. It's kind of an exciting spice. So saffron fits in there. Very nice. 

 

[00:29:30] Staci Bartley: I, I love listening to her talk about food. Are you having that same experience? The way you talk about food is incredibly delicious. Vanilla 

 

[00:29:40] Amy Reiley: Vanilla. How can you not love vanilla? Now vanilla is a funny one. I, there was a study and you've probably heard of it. The smell and taste research foundation study. I hope I said their name right 

 

[00:29:53] Staci Bartley: I haven't heard of it, but tell us. 

 

[00:29:55] Amy Reiley: So it was the one where they found out that the scent of good and plenty candy mixed with cucumber turned women on. Yeah. And pumpkin pie spice and lavender was the most arousing scent for men.

 

[00:30:07] Amy Reiley: So they did these, these were controlled studies where people were in a sleep state. And these things aroused them. They, you know, they measured blood flow. But one of the things they found was that It's like you were, women were attracted to older men, like the scent of vanilla. Oh no, no. I know what it was.

 

[00:30:28] Amy Reiley: The side of vanilla was attractive to older men. So if you want to land a sugar daddy, apparently just like dab vanilla behind your ears. I mean, it was really interesting. It was really bizarre. Glazed donuts were also big with both men and women. 

 

[00:30:43] Staci Bartley: Interesting. Where I go is, you know, in the fall there are all kinds of jokes.

 

[00:30:50] Staci Bartley: And yet they're true about women in their pumpkin pie, spice candles, you know, yeah. Aromatherapy types of things. Like we go gaga all of a sudden for pumpkin pie spice. Right. Anything pumpkin. 

 

[00:31:05] Amy Reiley: You know what? Every time I see it I just start laughing because of course, I mean, the study is all I can think about for like an entire month.

 

[00:31:11] Amy Reiley: That's all I think about is that study and like, wow. I wonder how people are doing? 

 

[00:31:17] Staci Bartley: There must be something to that study. 

 

[00:31:21] Amy Reiley: Well, I mean, it really, it was legitimate, but it was just bizarre. The combinations of things that turn people on that was, that was the fascinating part. 

 

[00:31:28] Staci Bartley: Yeah that is fascinating when it comes to food and you wouldn't think that food had those kinds of experiences in us. And yet when we stop to slow down and think about them, they absolutely do. And I love what you said here in the book where you said when you began to experiment with these 12 ingredients that she showcases in her book. And then I want you to give us some menu ideas for this Valentine's day that we're coming up with using these ingredients.

 

[00:31:52] Staci Bartley: You notice that the chosen ingredients began to form these unique bonds with. And you discovered that each ingredient brought out a different side of your personality and that you could choose ingredients that changed your mood and enhanced whatever style of seductress you wanted to step into becoming.

 

[00:32:09] Staci Bartley: And that was a fascinating thought to me because I'd never thought about, okay, how do we want the evening to go? And how do I want to set it up? And you know, what is it I would like to express about myself and which foods, you know, and or wines or beverages would pair nicely with where it is I want to go and I just thought that was such a unique mindset to come from that hopefully inspires our listeners. That's possible. That's possible. We start to bring these things together. And then, by the way, I want us to talk about venues too because I love that you have that as a part of the cookbook where the venues are places where we can plan to have these wonderful, savory experiences and how that all ties into all of it.

 

[00:32:48] Staci Bartley: So I would love for you to take a minute and kind of pull that all together. And then, in the end, we can share. Maybe a, perhaps a menu idea. 

 

[00:32:55] Amy Reiley: Okay. So, well, it's funny. I, what I thought of when we were talking before this interview, you had asked me if there's a song that I like to listen to while I cook to kind of get in that right mood.

 

[00:33:07] Amy Reiley: And my response was, and I totally forgot that I've written this in the book. My response was I change it depending on what I'm cooking. Yeah. So, yeah, so I still, you know, I very much have, have always felt this way. It's like, well, what, what do I want to be today? What do I want this meal to be? And I will change everything about it.

 

[00:33:27] Amy Reiley: I'll change what plates I'm going to use, or, you know, what size of the servings are. As well as what music and of course, what venue are we going to eat it in front of a fire? I like to have a picnic in bed personally. That's a favorite of mine. Yeah the crumbs kind of bug me. Okay. I'd like to have a picnic on top of the bed.

 

[00:33:50] Staci Bartley: So that then we can climb in the covers. 

 

[00:33:53] Amy Reiley: No crumbs on my sheets, please. Yes. 

 

[00:33:57] Staci Bartley: Well, and what about those of us who were taught? You never eat in bed, like, 

 

[00:34:02] Amy Reiley: You gotta be a rule breaker. 

 

[00:34:03] Amy Reiley: It's exciting. 

 

[00:34:07] Staci Bartley: Come out of hiding it's safe. 

 

[00:34:10] Tom Bartley: Well, you know, and, and all, I mean, as you described that, it just seems to make sense. You know, we have a wonderful mentor and person we highly respect Trevor Blake. I mean, he's a Physicist. And so I first went like, whoa, now you're bringing some quantum, you know, these are not woo woo. Right. I mean, quantum, the more that we can, everything was swirling energy, right? I mean, we know that from our friend, Trevor, who is a scientist physicist and, we can prove that now.

 

[00:34:33] Tom Bartley: So the more that we can get all that...

 

[00:34:36] Staci Bartley: stir up the energies of the venue and the food and the music...

 

[00:34:40] Tom Bartley: you know, create the conditions that make the result inevitable. 

 

[00:34:43] Staci Bartley: And do you choose an outfit for the evening? 

 

[00:34:47] Amy Reiley: Yeah. I'm yeah, I'm really into the outfit part. Yes, I do. If, if there's time, I mean, sometimes it's just like, I just want this meal to speak for me and I'm just wearing the sweatpants I wore all day, but now, if I'm really if I'm going all out, the outfit is definitely a part.

 

[00:35:04] Staci Bartley: And so you're intentionally bringing, and this is the part that I really wanted to drive home. You know, the, the meal of aphrodisiac is this intentionality about like you set the plates and the food and the music and the outfits, right. And the, the swirling of the mood and the air. And then you get to capitalize it by, this is what I'm hearing you say, that the foods and what they mean, and their textures and their feels, as you feel them in your mouth.

 

[00:35:28] Staci Bartley: And. Yeah, sounds delicious. 

 

[00:35:32] Amy Reiley: I think I need to send you actually my second book, you're going to love this book even more. It's called romancing the stove. And in that book, I focused on every recipe. I tried whenever possible to have multiple temperatures and multiple textures in the dishes because I, I feel like it heightened the sensual, you know, the sensuality of the meal.

 

[00:35:52] Amy Reiley: That's that sensory awareness. It's very different when you're being challenged when your senses are being challenged. And so that's what I, with that book, I really focused very hard on that. So I've got to send you that. 

 

[00:36:04] Staci Bartley: Oh, that would be incredible. I would definitely read it and dive into it. So venues that you pointed out and feel free...

 

[00:36:10] Staci Bartley: Let's share some venues just to kind of stir up some creative ideas here. One you highlighted right out of the gate is the kitchen. And it was called the second bedroom, which I cracked up about. Right. Clear the table.

 

[00:36:26] Staci Bartley: And then, is there anything you wanted to say about the kitchen?

 

[00:36:29] Amy Reiley: I mean, how big is your counter? 

 

[00:36:33] Staci Bartley: Well, it's pretty small, but I have a pretty good size table.

 

[00:36:39] Amy Reiley: I designed my kitchen with a big island. 

 

[00:36:42] Staci Bartley: Ah, that was very intentional. We could eat standing up and then, of course, you know, use the table for other purposes. I love that. How about the living room? I mean, these are just some fun ideas that you wouldn't necessarily think that you could have a romantic dinner in right.

 

[00:36:58] Staci Bartley: A living room on the floor, Tom and I used to do picnics on the floor like that in front of the fireplace. Right. 

 

[00:37:04] Amy Reiley: It's perfect. 

 

[00:37:06] Staci Bartley: And I love the idea of the roaring fire. Like. In our little place that, we moved into doesn't have a fireplace. So we ordered an electric one that's fantastic. And even blows heat out.

 

[00:37:18] Amy Reiley: Oh, that's great. 

 

[00:37:19] Tom Bartley: And I would think fire fireplace, you know, would be almost just right on notch or two, or maybe you're even with chocolate when you know. 

 

[00:37:30] Amy Reiley: Yes. 

 

[00:37:32] Tom Bartley: Yes.

 

[00:37:36] Staci Bartley: How about the bathtub? Would you think of that as the fan? Like for a meal and, and some wonderful time to enjoy foods and each other. 

 

[00:37:44] Amy Reiley: I mean, it depends on how big your tub is.

 

[00:37:48] Amy Reiley: Because my house had a very, very small tub and in fact. When we, when we remodeled, I put in a very, very large tub. My very, very large tub would be a welcome, welcome spot for a romantic meal, but my old tub, no way.

 

[00:38:06] Staci Bartley: And I don't even know, you'd have to get pretty creative to do one in a shower, but I suppose it's possible you got creative enough. Another fun one, a backyard... You know, something outdoors, even if it's cold, you can bundle up right. Put out your blankets. And I just want to point out that these things are also very novel.

 

[00:38:25] Staci Bartley: And we talk about this in our follow the fun segment that novelty, it just reignites all of our senses. It's not the mundane, the same old thing that it really reignites and stimulates you to pay more attention, right. To be present. 

 

[00:38:39] Tom Bartley: And I would say for us, you know, for. Let's just be non-chauvinistic, for the male energy, shall we say. They, they oh good, gracious. But I cannot overemphasize to that energy that is listening right now that it doesn't take a lot to move the needle with just a little bit of venturing into these places that we would quickly dismiss. Fair enough said?

 

[00:38:59] Tom Bartley: You know, so, so I mean guys and the guy energy, believe me, it may like, oh my gosh, that's the last thing that I would want to do. But if we would just like, you know, we pound on this novelty and play, what do little children do, that's all they do. And then when we get adult, we stopped doing that, which is really ridiculous. So, you know, challenge yourself. Just take one of these and just, just, I mean, and we're not talking about building a new house here.

 

[00:39:22] Staci Bartley: Yeah. So true. You know, we have into the woods and we have rocking the boat, which is self-explanatory. Yes. And something I would love to try. Just so you know, and, and of course, then we have our bed, which the bed doesn't just have to be for laying down the bed could be for, for many, many things. So I love your venue idea.

 

[00:39:44] Staci Bartley: And so let's put it all together now and inspire us with how to put this romantic dinner together.

 

[00:39:52] Amy Reiley: Oh, so since I mentioned the champagne and sparkling wine, I'm going to say, start with that. If it's what you like. There's a recipe for a saffron cocktail in Fork Me, Spoon Me, me that I really, really love it's called the saffron flirtation. And what you do is you toast the saffron threads I had, fortunately, I have a friend who is Indian and a very, very accomplished home cook. So he showed me how to toast and pulverize the saffron threads. Because originally I was trying it with just putting saffron threads in champagne. Cause I thought, well, that's very pretty. And he was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to, we're going to take this up a notch.

 

[00:40:33] Amy Reiley: It does the most amazing thing to champagne. 

 

[00:40:36] Tom Bartley: Wow. 

 

[00:40:36] Staci Bartley: Wow. 

 

[00:40:36] Staci Bartley: You toast it actually. And then you sprinkle it in the champagne,

 

[00:40:39] Amy Reiley: Then you sprinkle... in and now you don't want it. You want to do this with like brute style champagne you don't want to do with the pink champagne. Like I have it gives it like the savory quality.

 

[00:40:46] Amy Reiley: It makes it, it gives it this huge voluptuous, almost meaty kind of flavor. It's. Amazing. So that is a great way to start. It's so surprising and it's beautiful and it's celebratory and it's so luxurious. And then for a meal, I always recommend choosing lighter foods. So you know, and this is all based on your personal preference.

 

[00:41:10] Amy Reiley: I don't want to say, Ooh, everyone should have you know, we have an amazing baked Dungeness crab recipe on eatsomethingsexy. Everyone should do that because not everyone wants to eat crab. But it would be a great choice. So do something that's a little lighter, whatever that means for you avoid things that people always think they want to have, or like a big steak or a big pasta dish, like a splurge kind of, you know, a quote splurge meal, then don't, don't do that on a romantic occasion. Fish is a great choice that fish with a mango sauce that we talked about, what a wonderful idea. It really is a wonderful idea. So choose something light and apparently we need to end this meal with a box of dark chocolate truffles and some port because that sounds like it's going to be a hit around here.

 

[00:41:55] Tom Bartley: It does sound like, it's gonna be a hit around here. And why do you suggest something light? I'm just curious. 

 

[00:42:01] Amy Reiley: So. When you eat something like say a steak, heavy red meat, all your blood rushes to your stomach to digest the food and you need to have the blood flow going to your erogenous zones. Yes, exactly. So you don't want to have a meal where your body's having to work to digest it.

 

[00:42:26] Amy Reiley: You're just going to get sleepy. You're going to get tired and you're not going to get turned on. So yeah, lighter, lighter foods are always a great choice. 

 

[00:42:35] Staci Bartley: Oh, I'm so glad I asked that question. 

 

[00:42:37] Tom Bartley: Well think about it, you don't want to feel like you just had a big turkey, turkey dinner, you know like you're on Thanksgiving.

 

[00:42:41] Tom Bartley: Everyone's laying on the floor. That probably wouldn't go so well. Okay. Yeah. 

 

[00:42:44] Staci Bartley: So if we go back to the beginning of the book where we started then, and there was a chosen. Mango sauce, fish, mango sauce, chocolate white wine, red wine, and strong cups of coffee. 

 

[00:42:56] Amy Reiley: He so knew what he was doing. 

 

[00:43:00] Staci Bartley: I'm going to say this guy was on it.

 

[00:43:01] Staci Bartley: He got coached by somebody. Really, really well-informed. 

 

[00:43:06] Amy Reiley: That was perfect. And in fact, I know a lot of people say, no, no, no, no, you don't end dinner with coffee. You want to go to bed. Really? Do you want to go to bed? What? Coffee? This is, you know if it's a romantic meal, a little bit of coffee at the end of the meal is like one of the best choices you can make, because not only will it give you a little, pick me up a little energy, but it's also a mood elevator.

 

[00:43:30] Amy Reiley: So now you're in a really good, you've had your champagne and a little coffee you're in a really good mood. You've had a nice light, but delicious meal. 

 

[00:43:39] Amy Reiley: That's perfect. 

 

[00:43:40] Staci Bartley: Yeah, you got that, that novelty and play playing out because you're having dinner somewhere new and you've got the tunes playing in the background and you can see where okay.

 

[00:43:52] Staci Bartley: Strike where the mood is hot. Is that, how is that the saying 

 

[00:43:57] Amy Reiley: something like that? Yes. 

 

[00:44:00] Staci Bartley: While the mood...

 

[00:44:00] Tom Bartley: The traditional thing, I think it's strike while the iron is hot. Oh, yes. You're true. I was, I was tracking you. 

 

[00:44:09] Staci Bartley: Okay. Well, Amy, my gosh, this has been so wonderful. I know we can, we could spend quite some time here. Let's give a book away while you're here with us before we say goodbye and part ways.

 

[00:44:19] Staci Bartley: Then, don't worry, we're going to give another one away during our follow the fun segment after a quick break here, but I would love to do this while you're here. So we're going to ask you to pick a number between one and a hundred. And then we'll have a lucky winner on the other side of this who is on our fun list.

 

[00:44:38] Amy Reiley: Cool. Okay. Between one and a hundred. Seventy-three. 

 

[00:44:41] Staci Bartley: Seventy-three. So that makes it easy. I can count back 20. Oh, wow. This is Amy. Amy at coaching.com. So, Amy, you are the winner of Fork Me, Spoon Me. How perfect was that like that seriously? 

 

[00:44:57] Tom Bartley: And share with us one more time where can people learn more about you and your wonderful body of work?

 

[00:45:02] Amy Reiley: You can find me eatsomethingsexy.com spelled just like it sounds, I didn't even laugh that time. And you know, if people have questions for me, I love to answer questions on Twitter. I'm very active on Twitter at @forkmespoonme.

 

[00:45:16] Staci Bartley: Hmm. I love that. Thanks so much. Happy valentine's day to you. Wonderful to be here with you. Very tantalizing. Bye, bye Amy. We're going to take a quick break and we're going to come back and give away another book here, so don't go away. And then we're going to talk about some, can you feel it and just really help you set the mood right here for upcoming Valentine's day we'll be right back.

 

[00:45:45] Advertisement: Hey, babe, did you know that the average couple spends only two hours a day with each other? And the majority of that time is spent eating, watching TV, and surfing social media rather than connecting with each other. And if children are involved, my gosh, it's even less time. 

 

[00:45:59] Advertisement: I know babe. That's why you created our conversation parts for connections because they're the perfect conversation starter.

 

[00:46:04] Advertisement: So the next time you're sitting on the couch rather than turning on the TV or grabbing your phone, pull out a card and get ready for some good old-fashioned laughter and love and connection. 

 

[00:46:12] Advertisement: Yeah, you can get your cards at stacibartley.com

 

[00:46:14] Announcer: Working hard to put a smile on your face. Alternative talk 1150.

 

[00:46:22] Tom Bartley: Welcome back inside the love shack, that was smoking hot there. Thank you so much to Amy for setting our Valentine's day right. If you will, we're going to step right into follow the fun and give another book, another one of Amy's book away, correct? 

 

[00:46:35] Staci Bartley: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we're going to need some wonderful help from our wonderful engineer, extraordinary Eric outside of number 73, which has already been taken.

 

[00:46:45] Tom Bartley: And I'm sure Eric has taken copious notes to plan his Valentine's day dinner as well. Right. 

 

[00:46:50] Staci Bartley: What was your favorite part? 

 

[00:46:52] Eric The Engineer: Oh, the lack of oysters

 

[00:46:57] Staci Bartley: Being that you live in Seattle. That's probably right. I welcomed you. Do you have a lot of oysters that you come upon? 

 

[00:47:05] Eric The Engineer: Yeah, there's, there's definitely plenty up here, but I'm not a fan. And I wouldn't know the first thing about shucking them. So I, I, I was with her on that, you know, avoid the oysters.

 

[00:47:18] Staci Bartley: I'm not an oyster fan either, so I was really happy she didn't include those as well. 

 

[00:47:22] Tom Bartley: Alright sir, what number speaking to you besides 73? 

 

[00:47:25] Eric The Engineer: Let's go with 25.

 

[00:47:29] Staci Bartley: Okay, this is [email protected] and there's a whole nother piece on there, but cork [email protected]. You're also a winner. 

 

[00:47:38] Tom Bartley: I will reach out to you. We'll just ask you for a mailing address and off it will go to you.

 

[00:47:43] Staci Bartley: Enjoy. And if you get us your physical address here quickly, when we reach out to you later this evening. We will get it off before Valentine's day. There is incredible recipes in here. We didn't talk about this, but there are such wonderful recipes here, drinks, desserts, appetizers, main courses, et

cetera.

[00:48:01] Staci Bartley: So if you're not on our fun list, we're going to encourage you to get on our fun list because we absolutely give giveaways like this the first of every month and on special occasions, when we just feel like we want to as well. And so to set the mood now, like the final piece to our wonderful Valentine's dinners, we got to set the mood.

 

[00:48:18] Staci Bartley: Right? We got to do that.

 

[00:48:19] Tom Bartley: Was this a hard song for you to pick? 

 

[00:48:21] Staci Bartley: Oh, there's so many, but this one right here, Alina Baraz and the Galimatias. I didn't think I said that right. Gala my anyway, this urban floor right here. If Tom ever wants to get me in the mood. This is the one that he needs to put on. And I've actually done a teeny tiny bit of research where others have told me about this song and they too when they wanted to get romantic or, or get some action going, they would put it on in the background and girls just happened to love this song. 

 

[00:48:49] Tom Bartley: And I'll just give a reminder everything about if you're listening live. Thank you so much. We appreciate that. But you know, just because we don't want you to write, or if you're listening on the podcast you know, everything is in one place, all of our show notes all of our resources.

 

[00:49:01] Tom Bartley: In fact, we're really excited. Not too long ago, our daughter introduced the full episode is transcribed as well if you want it. And it can all be found on our podcast page if you will. Yeah. 

 

[00:49:10] Staci Bartley: And as the song says, you know, I can give you what you need. You make me feel all right. What's so sexy. So as Tom has already said, go check out our playlist and enjoy, you can have that playing in the background.

 

[00:49:21] Staci Bartley: So I think we've given you everything you need for an incredible Valentine's day mood setter, right? The food, the venue ideas, the music, and then 

 

[00:49:30] Tom Bartley: All it takes is your 100% buy-in. 

 

[00:49:32] Staci Bartley: Yeah. And maybe a fun little outfit to top it all off. I can't wait to see what you wear. All right. It's time for us to say, good, bye. It's great to be here with you.

 

[00:49:41] Staci Bartley: Happy Valentine's day, whatever that means for you. And my recommendation is we do Valentine's day all the time.

 

[00:49:48] Tom Bartley: And not to be a, you know, a spoiler, but if Valentine's day. Like, you know, it was like the farthest thing for where you find yourself right now, maybe with you and your special someone. Look, we understand that, all kidding aside.

 

[00:49:58] Tom Bartley: So if this is, sometimes these types of days can be really difficult because you're not in a very good place. And I would just encourage you, you know, reach out to us. You know, crossing our fingers and hope that things go away is not a good strategy. And this is what we specialize in. So reach out to us.

 

[00:50:13] Tom Bartley: We'd be honored to assist you and help you take your next best step. 

 

[00:50:16] Staci Bartley: I mean, you can always do any of these dinners for yourself. All right. And until we see you next time. Thanks so much for being here in the love shack with us today. Thank you, Amy Reiley, for your delightful experience here with us sharing your wonderful words of wisdom and inspiration.

 

[00:50:33] Staci Bartley: Come on back next week and we'll share more conversations with you around sex love and relationships right here in the love shack. Until we see you again, sending you off with a big squeeze bye for now.

 

[00:51:00] Announcer: Thanks for joining us today in the Love Shack. We hope you came away with something that made your toes tingle. To learn more about everything you heard on today's show, go to stacibartley.com/podcast. Love the show? Help us spread the love by sharing the show with others.

 

[00:51:20] Announcer: Okay. Everybody time to go. We got to close the doors to the love shack for this week. You don't have to go home, but you can stay here. Come back next week though, and join us for another edition of love shack live with Tom and Staci Bartley.