How Upgrading Your Emotional Intelligence Can Improve Your Romantic Relationships

Emotional intelligence may be a term that you've heard many times, but have you ever stopped to think about what it really means and how much it affects your relationships? If you're like so many of us, the answer is probably no. I sure didn't know what it meant until I began to study human behavior. And, I had no idea how important it was or how it was responsible for so much of the heartache that I had experienced in my first and second marriages.

Maybe, like me, you've found you and your partner:

• continually have the same recurring arguments;
• get stuck obsessing about the details of what happened instead of moving forward in your conversations; and/or
• are unable to come together to find solutions that actually improve your relationship...

Do you ever feel like what needs to be done seems so obvious? Or you can't figure out why your partner won't start doing that thing you just know is going to be the solution to all the problems in your relationship?

In past relationships, I'd spend hours trying to figure out why my partner would do and say the things he was. Then when we would fight, and I wouldn't be able to figure out why there were always discrepancies in the details of what was actually taking place. Things were somehow twisted, causing me to ask myself from time to time, am I crazy? Like, am I the only one seeing this?

This all created so much confusion in me and I became more and more unhappy with myself and my marriage. So, I became more intent on figuring my partner out.

But listen, you've got to know that trying to figure your partner or spouse out is like looking to them to figure out why it is you have a headache.