Episode 71: [Rebroadcast] How To Stop Fighting In A Relationship In 20-Seconds Or Less
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Imagine that you and your partner have been arguing a lot lately. You don't know how to make it stop and it's really starting to take its toll on you both emotionally and mentally. You're not happy and you don't feel like yourselves when you're fighting. It's time to take a step back, assess the situation, and try to fix it.
If you're like most couples, you probably fight from time to time. It's perfectly normal to have disagreements and arguments. After all, sometimes fighting is the only way we know how we communicate our feelings and needs. However, if fighting in your relationship has become a regular occurrence, it may be time to take a step back and assess the situation. In order to stop fighting in a relationship, it's important to understand why you're fighting in the first place. Once you know the root of the problem, you can start to address it and take steps towards a happier future together.
When it comes to fighting in a relationship, there are a lot of common challenges that couples face. One of the biggest challenges is that people often don't know how to address the issue at hand. You may try to bottle up their feelings, which only leads to more fights down the road. Another challenge is that couples often don't know how to communicate effectively. They'll argue and fight about the same things over and over again because they never take the time to actually listen to each other, and so they just go round and round and never actually resolve the issue they are fighting about. And finally, another big challenge is that people often don't know how to compromise. They're stubborn and refuse to budge on their opinions, even if it means sacrificing the health of their relationship. If you're struggling with any of these challenges, know that you're not alone! Let's talk about how to address them in a healthier way so that you can actually learn how to stop fighting in your relationship and feel like you're equipped with the tools you need to resolve the issues that keep coming up.
There are a lot of different sources of conflict that plague relationships. Unfortunately, many couples don't address these problems until they've already caused significant damage. Some of the most common sources of conflict include your past, disagreements about core values, different parenting styles, and unchecked jealousy. Let's talk about them in more detail so that you can start to understand them better.
The first step is to understand why you're fighting in the first place
Sometimes, you probably feel like don't even know why you're fighting in the first place. You may think that your fights are random and meaningless, but that's usually not the case. In fact, most fights are caused by unresolved issues that have been simmering for a long time. And if you want to stop fighting in a relationship, you need to address these underlying issues head-on.
The first step to understanding why you're fighting is to take a step back and assess the situation. Try to be honest with yourself and ask yourself why the fight started in the first place. When was the last time that you took a step back and tried to figure out what was causing your arguments?
What are the most common sources of conflict In Relationships?
The most common sources of conflict in relationships include:
Lack of communication. Maybe you and your partner don't communicate about how you feel on a regular basis. Maybe they never ask about your day or what's going on in your life. Or maybe you're the one who isn't open with them, and this disconnection has caused a lot of fights as well as stress within the relationship. Want to learn more about how to communicate in relationships? You might like our recent episode on communication tips: Click Here
Disagreement in different areas of life. You and your partner may disagree when it comes to certain aspects of life such as religion, money, family values, etc. However, this doesn't mean that you can't find common ground! This is just one way that disagreements have the potential to turn into big fights if they aren't managed properly.
Different needs and wants from the relationship. A lot of couples don't realize that they're fighting because their needs and wants from the relationship are very different. For example, maybe one partner wants children and the other doesn't. Or maybe one partner is less interested in sex than the other one. These differing needs sometimes cause a lot of tension within relationships if they aren't resolved properly.
What are the most common sources of conflict In Relationships?
It's super common to bring up your baggage from the past when you're fighting. Whether it's because of a past relationship, or childhood trauma, your old wounds can easily come up in arguments without you even realizing it. Of course, this is perfectly normal and expected - after all, we all have baggage from our upbringing and past experiences. However, if your past keeps coming up in regular arguments, it may be a sign that you haven't truly resolved your pain from the past. In order to stop fighting in a relationship, it's important to take a step back and resolve these issues with a professional so that you can release your trauma and move forward. Ready for some more tips about how to release your past trauma? You might be interested in this episode: Click Here
What can we do to stop jealousy from causing fights?
One way we can stop fighting with our partners is by learning how to manage our own insecurities. If we feel like we're losing them, it's normal for us to get insecure and jealous. But being overly clingy will only cause more issues and it won't' feel authentic because it's coming from a place of fear. Jealousy is something that requires a lot of personal reflection so that you can figure out what's causing your own insecurities.
If you find yourself becoming jealous often, then perhaps there are things that you need to work on in your life. When we become aware of what's triggering our emotions, it makes it easier for us to understand how to stop jealousy from happening in the first place. Remember that insecurity is something that will always be with us because everyone has their own doubts, but it doesn't have to control us! If you're having trouble recognizing what's triggering your insecurities, then perhaps it's best to talk about them with someone else. Allow yourself the opportunity to discuss the issues that are bothering you so that you can learn how to deal with these emotions in a healthy way.
Make time for each other and communicate effectively
Spending time together is one of the best ways to strengthen our relationships. When we're able to talk to our partners about how we're feeling, it makes it easier for us to understand each other. Not only that, but it also helps us to feel connected to them. If you're feeling jealous, be sure to communicate with your partner about what's going on. They might be able to help you understand why you're feeling that way, and they could also provide support. Remember that communication is key in any relationship!
Make Time For Each Other
Making time for each other is one of the best ways to strengthen your relationship. When we feel connected with our partner, conflict arises less often. This is because we feel like we can trust our partner to provide support.
By spending quality time with your partner, you're able to communicate more effectively about how you're feeling which leads to less fighting. You'll be able to feel connected and supported by them which makes it easier for you to resolve any conflict that arises.
For example, if your partner is always making plans with friends above spending time with you, then this might be something that's triggering your jealousy. To begin communicating effectively, tell them what you're feeling and ask them why they haven't been able to make time for you recently.
When we're able to communicate with our partners about how we're feeling, it helps us get to the root of why we're feeling that way. This reduces conflict and makes it easier for us to resolve any issues that might be developing in our relationships.
Sometimes what triggers our jealousy is something that we don't know, and telling our partner what's going on helps them understand why we're reacting the way we are.
If you find yourself feeling jealous often, it might be helpful to express your emotions so your partner can help you work through them. When you feel like something is bothering you, talk with your partner about it. They might be able to help you understand why you're feeling that way.
When we communicate effectively about our emotions, it's easier for us to resolve any issues that are developing in our relationships. For example, if your partner is spending less time with you because of their work schedule, they could help adjust their plans so they can make more time for you.
Don't bottle up your feelings - let them out in a healthy way
Don't bottle up your feelings - let them out in a healthy way. When we keep our feelings bottled up, it can lead to us feeling overwhelmed and stressed. This is because we're not allowing ourselves the opportunity to express what we're feeling. Not only that, but it can also lead to us becoming angry or resentful of our partners.
Instead, try to let your feelings out in a healthy way. This could mean talking to your partner about what's going on, writing in a journal, or even talking to a friend. When we're able to express our feelings in a healthy way, it makes it easier for us to deal with our emotions.
By expressing your feelings, you're able to let go of any negativity that might be weighing you down. For example, if your partner is spending less time with you because it's getting harder for them to balance their work schedule and being in a relationship, then letting out how stressed this makes you feel can help resolve the issue.
Let your partner know how you're feeling. Letting our emotions out in a healthy way helps us process what's going on and find ways to resolve any issues that might be developing in our relationships.
How to express your feelings in a healthy way
When we don't know how to deal with the emotions that are developing in our relationships, it can lead us to feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Try expressing yourself in a healthy way by writing it down. For example, if you're feeling upset because your partner is spending less time with you, write about why you feel this way and what you'd like to see happen. Writing it down helps us process our emotions and gives us a chance to express what we're feeling in a healthy way.
Writing your feelings down is also beneficial because it helps us get clarity on the situation before talking with our partner. For example, if they want to spend time with their friends, this might cause you to feel jealous. But if you write about how you're feeling and what would make you feel better, then it gives you a chance to express your emotions in a way that's not coming from a place of anger or resentment.
What can happen when you bottle up your feelings
Bottling up your feelings can lead to us feeling overwhelmed and stressed. It also increases the likelihood of our emotions turning into anger or resentment.
For example, if we're feeling upset because our partner is spending less time with us and want to talk about it, but don't because we think they'll get mad at us - that resentment will start to build up.
When we continue to bottle up our emotions, it can lead us to feel overwhelmed and even depressed. This is because when we don't let out what's going on in a healthy way, it's harder for us to deal with the emotions that are developing or have developed in our relationships.
The benefits of expressing your feelings
When we express our feelings in a healthy way, it can help us to resolve any issues that might be developing. By expressing yourself in a healthy way, you're able to let go of any negativity that might be weighing you down. For example, if your partner is spending less time with you because it's getting harder for them to balance their work schedule and being in a relationship, then letting out how stressed this makes you feel can help resolve the issue.
By expressing your feelings, you're also able to let go of any negativity that might be weighing you down. When we deal with our emotions in a healthy way it creates space for us to focus on what's going well in our relationship and helps us move past any issues that might be developing.
Be positive and have realistic expectations of your partner
One of the most important things in any relationship is to have positive expectations of our partner. This means that we need to be realistic about what they're capable of and not expect them to always be able to read our minds or know exactly how we're feeling.
In order for us to have a healthy relationship, it's important that we're able to communicate with our partners. This means that we need to be open and honest with them about how we're feeling, both good and bad.
If we have unrealistic expectations of our partner, it can lead to us being disappointed and even resentful. For example, if we expect them to spend all their free time with us and when they're not able to it makes us feel angry, then this resentment can start to build up.
Tips on how to have positive expectations of your partner
When we expect our partner to be perfect, it can lead us to feel stressed and overwhelmed. This is because there's a lot going on in a relationship and they might not always be able to meet all of our needs.
Finding a balance between what we want and need from our partners and their capabilities is an important part of any healthy relationship. This means that we need to be open and honest with them about what we want from the relationship, but also realistic about what they're capable of giving us.
An important part of any healthy relationship is respecting our partner's boundaries and appreciating them for who they are. For example, if a situation has brought up feelings that you don't want to deal with but your partner is asking you what's wrong, then telling them the truth can help you open up a dialogue about how you feel. However, if they're not in a space where they can talk or aren't comfortable talking about it, then it's important for us to respect that and just let them know that we're there for them.
What can happen when you have unrealistic expectations of your partner
If you have unrealistic expectations of your partner, it can lead to constant disappointment and resentment. For example, if you expect them to always be able to give 100% of their attention to you, then feel let down when they're not able to make sense. The problem with this is that it puts pressure on our partners instead of us focusing on what we want and need from the relationship. This can cause our partners to feel like they're walking on eggshells around us, which can lead to them withdrawing from the relationship or us having constant arguments about little things.
Where do they come from?
Unrealistic expectations are usually formed when we haven't dealt with certain parts of ourselves internally. This means that we project those parts of ourselves onto our partners and expect them to be able to deal with it. For example, if you've never dealt with the fact that you feel like no one cares about you, then you might subconsciously act needy around your partner in order for them to make you feel better.
The key to a healthy and happy relationship is understanding that your partner can't be perfect, but also being realistic about what they're capable of giving. If you want to maintain positive expectations while dealing with any issues or problems in the relationship, it's important for both parties to communicate openly and honestly at all times. If you have unrealistic expectations of your partner, it can lead to disappointment and resentment. If we have negative feelings towards our partners because they don't meet our every need or want, then looking within ourselves for answers rather than projecting those issues onto them is a better way of approaching problems in the relationship. In order for us to have a healthy relationship, we need to respect our partner's boundaries and be grateful for who they are. Unrealistic expectations usually come from projecting unresolved issues in ourselves onto them.
Links mentioned in show:
- How To Stop A Fight In 20-Seconds Or Less. Get Your Free Cheat Sheet Here.
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