Welcome to Day 1 of Your 3-Day Self-Focus Mini Challenge

Your Partner Asked for Space… Now What?

And now, your emotions are all over the place.

One moment, you feel desperate to fix things, to say the right thing, to get them back.

The next, you feel completely drained, exhausted from overanalyzing every word and action.

It’s a lot. I see you. And I promise, it won’t feel this intense forever.

Right now, your mind is racing because you’re feeling everything at once. But here’s something powerful:

👉 When you name your emotions, you take away their power to control you.

This is more than just an idea… it’s science.

The 90-Second Pause: How Naming Your Feelings Helps You Regain Control

Neuroscientists, including Harvard-trained Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, have discovered that emotions, when triggered, set off a 90-second chemical response in the brain and body. After that initial wave, any lingering emotional reaction isn’t about the event itself—it’s fueled by our thoughts recycling the feeling.

How This Works:

📌 When we name what we’re feeling—for example, saying, “I feel abandoned” or “I feel anxious”—it helps activate the brain’s rational processing center.

📌 This simple act reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for fight-or-flight reactions.

📌 Emotions naturally rise and fall within 90 seconds. But when they linger, it’s often because we’re unknowingly feeding them with repetitive thoughts.

📌 Instead of getting stuck in an emotional loop, pausing to name the emotion and observe it without judgment helps break the cycle.

This means that by simply identifying what you’re feeling, you create space between yourself and the emotion, giving you the power to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

And today, we’re going to put this into practice.

📌 Day 1 Exercise: The Emotional Check-In (aka Name It to Tame It)

Step 1: Identify What You’re Feeling

📝 Grab a piece of paper (or open your notes app) and ask yourself:

➡ What am I feeling right now?

Be specific: Are you feeling anxious, rejected, hopeless, lonely, angry?

If you’re unsure, just say, “I feel off, and that’s okay.”

Step 2: Name It Out Loud or Write It Down

✔ Saying, “I feel anxious” or “I feel abandoned” activates the logic center of your brain, reducing emotional intensity.

Step 3: Take the 90-Second Pause

✔ Set a timer for 90 seconds.

✔ Close your eyes and observe the emotion without judgment.

✔ Instead of reacting, just breathe and notice how it shifts.

Step 4: Locate It in Your Body

✔ Do you feel a tightness in your chest? A pit in your stomach? A lump in your throat?

✔ Just notice it. Don’t try to push it away.

Step 5: Take One Deep Breath

✔ Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.

✔ Let the emotion pass through you instead of gripping onto it.

💡 Why This Works

✔ Naming your emotions activates the thinking part of your brain, which calms your nervous system.

✔ Pausing for 90 seconds allows the stress response to fade, so you don’t stay stuck in the spiral.

✔ Observing your emotions instead of reacting to them gives you back control.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. Just take this one small step.

Coming Up Next: Reclaiming a Part of Yourself

Tomorrow, we’ll dive into your next step: Reclaiming a part of yourself.

For now, just focus on this moment, right here.

💛 Talk tomorrow,

Staci