#182: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Here's How to Move Past Relationship Uncertainty

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Navigating the Land of Maybe: Finding Clarity and Hope in Uncertain Times

Are you in a place in your relationship where you're constantly asking yourself, "Should I stay or should I go?" If you're tuning in, it probably means you're feeling overwhelmed and heartbroken. Maybe the fighting never seems to stop, or you're feeling stuck in toxic patterns that seem impossible to break. You're not alone in this struggle. Couples often wait an average of six years before seeking the help they need, and by then, it's often too late. But it doesn't have to be this way.


Welcome to Love Shack Live, your source of wisdom and hope for navigating relationship crossroads. I'm Staci Bartley, and I'm here with my cohost and lover, Tom, and our daughter, Brooke. Today's blog post is a special exploration of one of our most impactful discussions: navigating the land of maybe.


Whether you're revisiting this concept or discovering it for the first time, there's so much to gain here. For those who have heard it before, it’s a chance to revisit unique insights and strategies that can transform your relationship struggles into breakthroughs. For new readers, it's an opportunity to handle the uncertainty and emotional turmoil of wondering if you should stay or go.

Understanding the Land of Maybe

The "land of maybe" is that difficult, ambiguous space where you find yourself questioning the future of your relationship. It’s a place where you're trying to determine if your relationship will work out. Often, couples in this space feel like they are stuck in toxic patterns, and the feelings they experience during these times can be overwhelming.

Realizing the Normality of Conflict

It’s important to realize that there is always going to be some conflict in a relationship. Some days can feel exceptionally good, but others might leave you feeling like you're at your lowest. This emotional rollercoaster is a normal part of relationships, but what you do during these times is crucial.

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Staying Out of the Land of Maybe

  1. Express How Much You Care: If you truly want to work on your relationship, tell your partner how much you care about them and the relationship. This vulnerability can be scary, but it’s necessary. For example, you might say, "I know our relationship is struggling right now, and that makes me incredibly sad because I care so deeply about us. Can we get some help and support to work through this together?"
  2. Slow Down: When we're in pain, our natural inclination is to rush to find a solution. However, what's actually helpful is to slow down and allow yourself to think things through more clearly.
  3. Seek New Information: If you're feeling conflicted, it could mean you need more information. Look for new perspectives, solutions, and possibly professional help. This new knowledge can provide the insights you need to navigate your relationship challenges.
  4. Switch It Up: Sometimes, changing your usual routines and creating a contrast can offer a fresh perspective. For instance, if sleeping in the same bed brings constant conflict, try sleeping in separate bedrooms for a while. This temporary change can help you see things more clearly and might reveal feelings of missing your partner that you didn't realize you had.

Key Takeaways:

  • The 'Land of Maybe' is a common place in relationships where couples question whether to stay or go.
  • Addressing the uncertainty and emotional turmoil of the 'Land of Maybe' is crucial for creating a thriving relationship.
  • Introspection and taking responsibility for one's behavior are key to navigating through the challenges of the 'Land of Maybe'.
  • Seeking skilled facilitation and practicing new behaviors are essential for changing patterns
  • and improving the relationship. Seeking help and continuously working on oneself is crucial for improving relationships.
  • Approach relationship challenges with love and vulnerability, rather than blame and guilt.
  • Express care and the desire for the relationship to work when convincing a resistant partner to work on it.
  • Navigate through the 'land of maybe' by slowing down, seeking new learning, and switching things up.
  • Incorporate humor and have fun in the relationship to recharge and refuel.


Navigating the land of maybe is a complex journey, but it's one filled with opportunities for growth and connection. Whether you stay together or choose separate paths, ensuring you are complete with your decisions and actions can prevent future regrets and emotional turmoil.


If you find yourself needing more support, reach out to us at Love Shack Live. We're here to help you through it because we’ve been there ourselves and know how crucial timely support can be for your emotional well-being and your relationship's health.


Until next time, keep the love alive, and don't lose sight of the joy and connection that brought you together. Remember, we’re here at the Love Shack, keeping the porch light on for you whenever you need it.

Resources mentioned in this episode:


  1. Better Love Club: Access unlimited resources, workshops, and a supportive community to deepen your relationship skills. Explore the club.
  2. Relationship Conversation Cards: Enhance your communication and deepen your connection with our Relationship Conversation Cards. stacibartley.com/cards

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