Let me give you a quick tip today that will instantly help you to begin to transform your relationship. This is THE most valuable piece of information I’ve discovered in all my years of studying relationships, so listen up:
Stop living in the illusion of perfection.
Here’s what I mean:
We all talk about wanting to be loved for who we really are, but are you showing up as you? Or are you pretending to be someone you’re not? Has worrying about what your partner will think of you become more important than allow yourself the freedom to be you and express your true wants and needs? Are you even aware of what your wants and needs are anymore?
It makes perfect sense that we do this. Most of us create our relationships based on the illusion of pretend and perfection, because that is what has been modeled to us by our parents, our peers, and our families. We work so hard to look good to everyone on the outside that sometimes we forget the most important thing is how we’re feeling inside. Are we happy? Are we getting what we want? Does our relationship make us feel good? And we’re scared that if the answers to these questions are no…how will we fix it? How the heck do we start to rebuild a house with no foundation?
And we’re even more terrified that if we actually do show up as who we truly are, that our partners won’t love us anymore because we’ve spent so much time trying to be the person who we think they want us to be.
The problem is: it isn’t our job to try and figure out who our partners want us to be…our only job is to show up as ourselves.
This is the truth…
Right now, you’ve probably realized that you’ve been more committed to the illusion of having a picture perfect relationship than experiencing the peace, comfort, and joy of authentic connection and being in love.
- What would it feel like if I told you that there is nothing wrong with you or your partner?
- Or, that I don’t care how you got here or what problems you’re having in your relationship?
Those things don’t mean anything.
Is that shocking? Are you relieved? Can you let go of some of the blame and shame now?
You want to know the only thing that matters?
Relationships are not about being perfect, they are about sharing you, and if you can’t understand you, how do you expect anyone else to?
So the moral of the story is: stop trying to be perfect, and start being you.
If you need help clarifying exactly how to do that, just reach out.
PS: In one hour long call, we can help you get clear on: your issues, what’s holding you back, and exactly how to create the relationship you’re dreaming of. Book your call here.