Have you been wondering why when you're reading all the books, watching workshops, and trying new strategies that fixing your relationship isn't...easier? I think there is a pretty common misconception about love and relationships that if you're working really hard and if you just love your partner that everything in your relationship should be perfect and easy.
This misconception begins on our wedding day. We think "I've found my soulmate. My work here is done! It will be smooth sailing from here..." When the truth is, your wedding day is the beginning! You've got an entire life to navigate as a couple.
The next place we go wrong, is thinking that if we are experiencing challenges in our relationships, we're off course or mismatched with our partners. For some reason we tend to believe that our love lives are either "easy" or they are doomed. There's no in between.
I can tell you from YEARS of past experience that this is probably THE MOST damaging belief you can have about your relationships. The reason is this: this leaves no ro room for making mistakes and being a human.
Raise your hand if you're a human...
Guess what that means? You're going to make mistakes. You're going to say the wrong thing. You're going to make messes.
And, when my clients come to me and I see them running away from problems when they first begin rather than facing them and cleaning up their messes, it's frustrating for me to watch. Because I know exactly how to make it better. But my job isn't to make it better, my job is to teach the skills so they can continue to make it better when the coaching is over.
The lesson here is that big obstacles in our relationships aren't something to be ashamed of or to dodge. Why? We signed up for them! I don't know where this myth of happily ever after began. All it's done is make us feel embarrassed and secretive about our struggles. But how could we possibly think that combining lives and sharing a household with another human would be EASY? I'd venture to say it's probably the hardest things we do as humans. But just because it's hard doesn't mean it's bad.
Because I'd also venture to say that creating love for a lifetime is one of the most beautiful journeys we get to experience in our lives.
Are you ready to learn how to make your relationship the best it can possibly be? To learn how to clean up your messes, deepen your connection and reignite your spark with your partner?
If that is what you're looking for, then I've got news for you, the reason why you're frustrated is because IT'S NOT EASY.
When you mess up in your relationship, you can ignore the mess and hope it goes away, you can keep making messes and let them pile on top of each other, or you can learn how to clean up your messes quickly and efficiently.
The secret to creating the relationship of your dreams is becoming the best "mess cleaner" you can possibly be. And the more you practice it, the better you'll get.
Creating the best love means tackling the biggest challenges. But the challenges you face allow you to learn, grow and keep going forward in the direction you're wanting to go.
So, I've got to ask you: when you and your partner are approaching a problem, do you tell yourself it's a sign that you're in the wrong relationship and cower? Or do you see it as a mountain you've got to climb together and your connection will deepen on the other side?
P.S. If you're tired of getting derailed by challenges, then the absolute best thing you can do is to find a mentor who can help you tackle them. I guarantee you my team and I have seen every problem you're facing, and have helped our clients fix it hundreds of times. Why keep suffering? Book a call and let us help.