If your partner has asked for space, you probably feel like you are holding your breath. Your stomach is in knots. You keep checking your phone and second-guessing every move. It is exhausting and disorienting, and the worst part is not knowing the rules anymore.
You are not broken. You are in a survival state. When the person you love pulls away, your nervous system reads it as danger. Until your body feels safe, every text, silence, word, and look can feel like proof that it is either saved or over.
What this episode is about
This Love Shack Live episode is for the partner who has been asked for space. I am Staci Bartley, joined by my co-host Tom and our daughter Brooke. Together we teach the relationship skills most of us were never taught.
Today we start right where you are. Before you repair a connection, you need to understand yourself. Before you communicate clearly, you need to calm the alarm signals firing inside your body.
The first skill: Sit Your Butt Down and Breathe
Inside our Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap, we begin every day with a simple practice we call Sit Your Butt Down and Breathe. When your nervous system is flooded, your thinking brain goes offline and chases safety through answers and protection. Breathing slows the alarms so you can think and feel, and move between both with steadier footing.
This is not a meditation app or something fancy. It is a two-minute reset you can do anywhere. It is the foundation for everything else: self-regulation, clear communication, and choices that align with who you want to be.
Try it now: a two-minute reset
- Focus on your chest. Notice the rise and fall as you inhale and exhale through your mouth.
- Feel your support. Notice your feet on the floor or the seat beneath you. Let yourself feel heavier and grounded.
- Slow it down. Lengthen your inhale. Lengthen your exhale.
- Choose your focus. Inhale calm, hope, and possibility. Exhale worry, stress, and the need to control. Repeat three slow breaths.
- Remind yourself. You do not need to fix anything in this moment. Space is information, not rejection. You can honor your partner’s need for time without abandoning yourself.
Do this as often as you need. Two minutes can change the next two hours.
Why regulation comes before communication
You cannot communicate your way out of dysregulation. When you are flooded, you will either chase, shut down, or react in ways that increase distance. Regulation gives you the ability to respond from calm instead of fear. From that place you can choose the right words, the right timing, and the right boundaries.
The bigger pattern most couples miss
Relationships do not end because people take space. They end because the relationship runs out of emotional safety. Most of us were not taught how to take personal space in daily life, how to disclose needs without fear, or how to pause and refuel before we burn out. Skills solve this. Practice makes them usable.
Real questions we hear every day
If these sound like you, you are not alone. They came from our community:
- How do I give space without losing myself or making things worse
- How do I stop overthinking and checking my phone all day
- How do I communicate without pushing, or disappearing
- Can we rebuild intimacy after separation, and how do we begin
- How do I stay grounded when they are dating other people
- How do I know if it is time to let go, or try again
These are exactly the problems the Roadmap is built to address.
What changes when you practice
- Your body learns what safety feels like again.
- Panic gives way to clarity.
- You message and meet from calm, not urgency.
- You rebuild confidence regardless of your partner’s timeline.
- You stop white-knuckling the waiting and start living your life.
As one participant shared, “They still have not come home yet, but I finally came home to myself.”
Inside the Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap
A 30-day reset for the partner who has been asked for space. You will get:
- Daily two-minute regulation reps to steady your nervous system
- Clear timing cues for when to reach out and when to wait
- Communication frameworks that reduce pressure and increase safety
- Six live coaching calls and community support so you are not doing this alone
Final live round of 2025 begins Sunday, October 19. Enrollment closes October 23. After this we will pause before the next live session, and the next date is not set.
Take your next step
- 💛 Join the Roadmap: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap
- 💡 Take the Relationship Space Assessment: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
Before you go, take one more breath. Hand on your heart. Feel it beat. You are not losing love. You are learning how to stay steady. That is the work we will do together.
