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Maybe you’d describe your relationship as more like roommates than partners these days. Maybe the affection slipped away somewhere along the way, and you couldn’t say exactly when. Maybe you feel alone, even when they’re sitting right there. It isn’t always a big blowup. Sometimes it’s just a quiet kind of loneliness. I’ve been thinking […]

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Maybe you’d describe your relationship as more like roommates than partners these days. Maybe the affection slipped away somewhere along the way, and you couldn’t say exactly when. Maybe you feel alone, even when they’re sitting right there. It isn’t always a big blowup. Sometimes it’s just a quiet kind of loneliness. I’ve been thinking […]

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Maybe you’d describe your relationship as more like roommates than partners these days. Maybe the affection slipped away somewhere along the way, and you couldn’t say exactly when. Maybe you feel alone, even when they’re sitting right there. It isn’t always a big blowup. Sometimes it’s just a quiet kind of loneliness. I’ve been thinking […]

#286: We’re Back… and Italy Changed How We Think About Connection

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Space & Separation

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Am I Stuck With My Attachment Style Forever? Picture two people in a small boat when it starts rocking hard. One of them grabs the other person. Grips their arm, says their name, wants to be held onto. The other one grabs the rail. Plants their feet, goes quiet, looks straight ahead and says nothing […]

#284: Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

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Space & Separation

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You apologized. You meant it. You said the words out loud and you weren’t faking any part of it. And they’re still sitting there with their arms crossed, looking at you like you never opened your mouth. So you say it again. Maybe louder this time, maybe softer, maybe with more feeling behind it. Same […]

#282: Six Steps to an Apology Your Partner Can Actually Hear

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Space & Separation

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Four words. That’s all it takes. Maybe they came in the kitchen after dinner. Maybe in the car, both of you staring straight ahead at the road. Maybe in a text you have now read fifty times, looking for something in it you missed. And since then you’ve been lying awake next to someone you’ve […]

#280: What to Do When Your Partner Says They Need Space

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Space & Separation

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It starts over nothing. The dishwasher, maybe. A tone of voice. A look. And in about the time it takes to read this sentence, it’s not about the dishwasher anymore. Your heart is pounding, their voice is rising, and both of you are saying things that have nothing to do with tonight and everything to […]

278: How to Stop a Fight Before It Escalates: The First 60 Seconds

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Space & Separation

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