If you’ve ever walked into the holiday season hoping for warmth and magic… only to find yourself tense, bracing, and walking on eggshells, you’re not imagining it. The holidays rarely create new relationship problems, they amplify the ones that have been simmering under the surface all year.

And if your relationship is already in a fragile place?

December can feel like an emotional minefield.

Maybe it’s the sharp comment in the kitchen that derails the whole day.

Or the silent car ride to a family dinner where you’re both afraid to say the wrong thing.

Or that awkward moment when someone at the table asks, “So… how are you two doing?” and you both laugh it off even though nothing is funny.

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in good company. Nearly half of all couples say the holidays are the most stressful part of the year, not because anything dramatic happens, but because the pressure is relentless. More decisions. More expectations. More noise. Less bandwidth.

And if you’ve been carrying unspoken tension with your partner, the holidays have a way of pressing on every bruise at the exact wrong moment.

Why the Holidays Hurt More Than They Should

The truth is simple and uncomfortable:

The holidays don’t fix anything.

They magnify everything.

Old wounds resurface.

Tiny miscommunications feel massive.

Everything is sped up, heightened, and emotionally loaded.

You’re trying to create a memorable season while holding together a relationship that already feels shaky, and that combination alone can push anyone past their limit.

Then add:

• family dynamics
• financial pressure
• the cultural expectation to be happy
• comparison to “perfect” Hallmark-style holidays
• guilt around gift-giving
• kids’ school events and emotional overload
• the pressure to “make it good for the family”

It’s no wonder so many people hit a breaking point somewhere between the mashed potatoes and the final round of gift wrap.

But here’s what most couples don’t realize:

It’s not that your relationship is broken.

It’s that you don’t have the skills to navigate the emotional load.**

Skills, not willpower, are what get you through the season.

And most of us were never taught how to:

• regulate our bodies under stress
• communicate without escalating
• ask for what we actually need
• set realistic expectations for ourselves
• repair quickly after a tense moment
• stay connected even when life is swirling around us

So what happens instead?

We white-knuckle it.

We stuff things down.

We tell ourselves we’ll deal with it in January.

We hope nothing “sets the other person off.”

We hold our breath and try to survive the gatherings.

But by the time January shows up, many couples feel more fractured, more exhausted, and more defeated than ever. That’s because emotional buildup always leaks out. Our bodies can only hold so much before we lose our capacity and snap.

There’s a different way to move through this season.

Inside this week’s episode, we break down:

• why holiday pressure hits struggling couples harder
• how emotional overload drives miscommunication
• the specific “holiday triggers” that most couples never see coming
• real stories from our own family dynamics
• simple, actionable skills to soften tension instead of ignite it
• how to support yourself (and each other) without pretending everything’s perfect
• the difference between understanding and agreeing
• how to avoid repeating the same fight year after year
• why kids learn more from how you behave than what you say

We also talk through the very real experiences so many couples face, showing up to family gatherings while separated, trying to co-parent through holiday events, or simply trying to “hold it together” for the kids.

And we show you how to walk through all of that with more calm, clarity, and connection.

You Don’t Need a Relationship Overhaul, You Need a Few Grounding Skills

Most couples think the answer is to fix the “big thing.”

But the holidays prove that connection is built (or broken) in the smallest moments:

• one calmer conversation
• one moment where you check in before you react
• one pause before your meaning-making takes over
• one faster repair
• one signal between you and your partner that says “I’m on your team”

Those little moments change the temperature of the entire season.

And because so many of you have been asking for help, we’ve created something meaningful to support you right now, in the exact moment you need it most.

🎁 The Holiday Survival Bundle (Available for 20 Couples Only)

If the holidays already feel heavy or overwhelming, and you want a steadier path forward, this bundle is your next step.

You’ll get:

✔ 3 Proven Skills Programs

Communication, emotional regulation, and intimacy tools you can use immediately (not “someday”).

✔ The Holiday Stress Test

A quick skills assessment that shows exactly where tension is likely to show up, so you can prepare instead of panic.

✔ 1:1 Mini-Session With Staci Bartley

(For the first 20 people)

Staci will personally review your Stress Test, walk you through what it means, and show you where to focus first.

No guessing. No confusion. No overwhelm.

It’s simple, practical support at the exact moment you need it.

And you’ll use these skills long after the holiday lights come down.

👉 Learn more + grab one of the 20 bundles here: https://stacibartley.com/holiday-bundle

Final Thoughts

If the holidays bring up a mix of hope and dread for you… you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re human.

But this season doesn’t have to break you.

With a few grounding skills, clearer expectations, and the ability to steady yourself before reacting, you can create moments of connection that actually feel real.

Not perfect.

Not “Hallmark.”

Real.

And those are the moments that matter most.