#219: Bridging the Divide: How to Reconnect When It Feels Like You’re Worlds Apart (with Topaz Adizes)
“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin
The world feels more divided than ever. Conversations that once flowed easily now feel tense, loaded with unspoken frustration. Relationships that once felt unshakable now seem fragile, eroded by misunderstandings and the widening gap of differing perspectives.
But here’s the real question: What’s the cost of avoiding these difficult conversations?
In this episode of Love Shack Live, we explore that question with Topaz Adizes, a master of human connection and the creator of the Emmy award-winning project, The And. Joining him are relationship mentor Stacey Bartley, her husband Tom, and their daughter Brooke. Together, they uncover the real roots of division, both in our personal lives and in the broader world, and offer practical tools for bridging those divides.
Why We Feel So Disconnected
When was the last time you had a conversation where you truly felt heard? Not just tolerated. Not just given space to speak. But genuinely understood.
These moments are rare because we’re losing the art of conversation. Social media has trained us to perform rather than connect. It feeds us an endless loop of like-minded opinions, reinforcing what we already believe. Over time, this creates echo chambers, safe, predictable, and completely disconnected from the real world of nuanced human relationships.
It’s easier to shut people out than to engage with discomfort. But at what cost?
Connection Is a Skill, And We’re Out of Practice
Love, friendship, and even casual conversations aren’t static. They’re living, breathing dynamics that require practice.
We mistakenly believe that once we connect with someone, the bond should remain strong on its own. It won’t. Relationships, romantic or otherwise, need deliberate effort. They demand curiosity, a willingness to listen, and the courage to sit with discomfort rather than shutting down or fighting back.
As Topaz points out, “You get good at what you practice.” If we only practice monologues, posting, reacting, labeling, we weaken our ability to truly communicate.
So how do we rebuild?
The Separation Survival Kit
Feeling lost after your partner asked for space? The Separation Survival Kit has everything you need to regain your footing. Packed with practical tips and guided exercises, it’s designed to help you navigate the uncertainty and make empowered decisions—without the spiral of overthinking.
The Power of Asking the Right Questions
One of the most effective ways to foster connection is to ask well-constructed questions. Not questions designed to “win” or change someone’s mind, but questions that open the door to understanding.
Try these:
- What’s the hardest part of being you right now?
- What’s one thing you wish I understood about your perspective?
- What shaped the way you see this issue?
- Where do we actually agree, even if we don’t realize it yet?
When we shift from debating to inquiring, the conversation transforms. The goal isn’t agreement. It’s understanding.
The Real Goal: Seeing Each Other Clearly
Deep connection isn’t about convincing someone you’re right. It’s about recognizing their humanity, seeing the world through their eyes, even for just a moment.
In times of political, economic, and social upheaval, we crave certainty. But certainty often comes at the cost of curiosity. What if, instead of seeking confirmation of what we already believe, we sought deeper understanding?
That’s what this episode of Love Shack Live is all about.
What You Can Do Next
- Practice listening more than responding. Let someone finish their thought. Repeat it back to them to show you’ve heard them.
- Use the right questions to open up conversations. If you’re unsure where to start, try using Topaz’s “12 Questions for Love” as a guide.
- Step outside your echo chamber. Engage with different perspectives, not to argue, but to learn.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. But small shifts in how we communicate, how we show up in our relationships, can transform not just our personal lives, but the world around us.
Join the Love and Limbo 30-Day Roadmap
If you’ve been feeling lost, overwhelmed, and disconnected, now is the time to make a change. The Love In Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap is not about waiting for someone else to fix things. It’s about YOU regaining control, finding clarity, and building the confidence you deserve.
This journey isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself, mastering emotional regulation, and breaking free from the mental and emotional chaos you’ve been stuck in. No more walking on eggshells. No more second-guessing. This roadmap provides clear, actionable steps to help you regain your peace.
It’s time to stop letting your partner’s actions dictate your emotional state. By focusing on your own needs and building inner strength, you’ll regain confidence and clarity, one step at a time.
As a thank you for being part of our community, use the code LOVESHACK15 at checkout for 15% off.
Click below to begin your journey to a better, more balanced YOU:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Has your partner asked for space? Don’t panic—it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to reflect, rebuild, and reconnect.
- 🌟 Learn more about Topaz and his incredible work:
🔗 Visit The Skin Deep: https://www.theskindeep.com
📖 Get Topaz’s Book: 12 Questions for Love: https://www.theskindeep.com/products/12-questions-for-love-book
- Download the Separation Survival Kit: Your essential guide to managing emotional distance, staying grounded, and creating clarity during this uncertain time. Get it here: https://stacibartley.com/separation-survival-kit/optin
- Start Your Self-Paced 30-Day Roadmap: This flexible, step-by-step guide is designed to help you navigate emotional distance, honor your partner’s need for space, and rebuild trust—on your own terms and timeline. Learn more and get started today: https://stacibartley.com/self-paced/30-day-roadmap
- Discover All Our Programs: From expert mentorship to proven strategies, find the perfect fit to support your relationship journey. Explore here: https://stacibartley.com/programs/index/
- Exclusive for Podcast Listeners: Use the code LOVESHACK15 at checkout to unlock your special discount!
Take this moment as a chance to grow—both individually and together. ❤️
