#130: Why Doesn't Your Partner Get You? Understanding Personal Movies in Relationships


Have you ever wondered why the people close to you, especially your partner, don't understand where you're coming from?


Today, we're diving into a topic that's at the core of many relationship struggles: our "personal movie" and the cognitive biases that can distort our perception of reality.


If you've ever found yourself saying, "I can't understand why you believe or think the way you do," this episode is for you. Our personal movie—the narrative we hold inside our own minds—can feel absolutely true for us, but often it doesn't match up with the personal movies of those around us. This disconnect can lead to conflict, especially in our closest relationships.


But don't worry, we've got your back. In this episode, we'll share insights and teachings straight out of our Better Love Club Monday night class. The Better Love Club is a place where we come together to learn, share, and practice the skills that lead to better relationships. It's an alternative to traditional couples counseling that has proven life-changing for countless individuals.


To get a taste of what we discuss in the club, we're going to dive deep into the concept of personal movies. We'll explore common cognitive biases and how they shape our personal narratives. Just like scenes from a movie, there are parts of our own narrative that we replay over and over because they make us feel good. But there are also scenes we'd rather skip—moments that lead us to lash out or try to control our external environment.


Understanding our own personal movies and recognizing that others have different movies playing in their minds is often a big "aha" moment. It can lead to greater empathy, better communication, and ultimately, stronger relationships.


And here's the kicker: We often live in congruence with our personal movie. If we believe something is true within our narrative, our behavior aligns with that belief. This can turn into a horror movie quickly if we're not aware and mindful of our internal narratives.


In this episode, we'll help you uncover these biases and learn how to rewrite your own movie for a more fulfilling, harmonious relationship. So, if you're struggling to understand your partner, or if you just can't seem to get on the same page, this episode is a must-listen.


Ready to unravel the complexities of your personal movie? Grab your popcorn, settle in, and join us in the Love Shack. Your relationship transformation begins here.

Links mentioned in show:


  1. Learn more about The Better Love Club! http://thebetterloveclub.com
  2. Get your copy of the book now!
  3. How To Stop A Fight In 20-Seconds Or Less. Get Your Free Cheat Sheet Here.
  4. Relationship Check-up - tired of re-hashing your issues with your partner without making progress? Schedule your check-up today!
  5. Get on the fun list here.
  6. Check out our Love Shack Live Playlist for all the songs we play on the show.